Oh My, ... New JOB Statement

"Job security" was the key to lively hood. And one of the criteria to mark a gentleman as an eligible bachelor. That was the scenario of the Baby Boomer's. The generation born between 40s and 60s. There were parents of prospective bride looking for grooms settled in 'Government' jobs. My father [born 1950] was in a couple of vague job before he got into one of the 'Public sectors'. This was his idea of 'settled' in life statement. Thus was eligible to ask for his cousin's hand in marriage. i.e., my mother. And he served for this one organisation for 35 years loyally, until he retired at the age of 56. Whooh !! what an achievement. On the flip side: Same old routine. Same old faces to see every day, same boss, same colleagues, same circle of friends and the same old thinking !!.

I belong to the generation 'X' [Generation X refers to adults born between 1961 and 1981]. The generation that no longer looked at one job. In fact, job-hopping had become a fashion of life. We saw that our parents' security blanket vanish overnight, when that blanket was just the semi-promise of long-term employment with one employer. My generation was characterized with risk-taking enthusiasm. I  jumped twice in a span of 14 years. The more number of job an employee quit, the more his or her experience. This of-course gave one exposure to various work cultures and proved one's adaptability. But, I have my own doubts if there would be any gain in knowledge work-wise. I feel that by the time one is introduced to the job, gets adjusted to the new culture, starts to learn regarding the client requirement/job requirement and pick up the actual task or active production and starts to perform and be recognised, it would be time to quit the job [habit-bound]. There are also chances that would camouflage the failures in the process. Still, to say that anyone from the X generation clinging to the idea that he or she will retire from his or her first employer needs to wake up and smell the talent-market coffee. That world is gone. The deadline is no longer the stable full-time jobs.

Now I see the new Millennials or the Generation Y. They are the one that are not just satisfied with one job at a time. They secure themselves with an alternate through-out. An alternate job not only is a source of additional income but also shields one by the fluctuating economic market trends. Many predict that due to their great expectations, the millennial switch jobs more frequently, holding many more jobs. The accelerated societal changes by the use of social media, smartphones, mobile computing, and other new technologies is also to be credited for. Youth today aren't waiting for the hands of fate to fall on its shoulders. They are go getters. Hurray.

Today's younger generation is a still, small flame that would definitely out-beat their preceedors. I am sure that the next generation would be required to put a hundred times the brainpower and maturity that every hour of our service required. Just one thing that bothers is the youth's perception that adults are hopelessly "out of touch" with new ideas, exist and shall continue to exist, whichever generation you might belong. Oldies gear-up fast to catch-up faster! Or would be left far behind.

Karthigai Deepam @ Tiruvannamalai

Hara Hara Sivane Arunachalane, Siva Om namah shivaya

There was joy and excitement in the air. This was going to be our first trip to Tiruvannamalai and our very first Girivalam. We wanted to arrive in Tiruvannamalai before 12:00 pm as we were told that the vehicular movement from outstation would be stopped after that. We drove in silence till in the distance I saw the Mountain, my dear Lord Arunachala, rising high above the ground and looking so majestic; energy surged through me like I had never experienced before. The land welcomed us with open arms. Everything seemed so familiar. It was unbelievable. As planned we arrived a day prior to Karthigai Deepam which is actually a 10 day feast in the town.

We managed to get some rest before we went for darshan at 3:00 pm and then the Girivalam was to started from 8.30 p.m. And could be completed anytime before 8:55 the next day. But by the time we finished with Darshan returned it was 9 p.m. As it was raining the whole day, I felt the clouds would blanket the moon and we will not be able to walk under its radiance. So, we had dinner and went to sleep, such that we could start Girivalam early the next day.

It was 5 in the morning. The drizzle ceased, the clouds cleared. We were half a dozen-- me, my husband, and a few of his cousins. We started bare foot towards the RajaGopuram, lit a camphor and signalled the beginning of the girivalam. We entered the main road and immediately got swept up in the moving crowd! Barefoot... walking on the road in front of the Ramana Ashram of the holy saint of Arunachala, Sri Ramana Maharshi. The road was basically closed to all vehicles but for government vehicles post staff from in and around the small town nearby. And of-cource the ambulance. With the Majestic Giri on the right and thoughts on Lord Arunachaleshwar we began. Initially, there was so much excitement, The newly asphalted roads were washed clean by the last night's rain. I could hardly contain myself. A couple of kilometers down, the sound of chants vibrated, we passed by saffron clad devotees singing praises of Lord Arunachaleswar, vendors shouting to get our attention, restaurants selling hot food, coffee shops, there was fruits, dates and fresh juice, the crowd swelled, it was a sea of humanity walking gracefully many with thoughts of Lord Arunachaleshwar. It was amazing that devotees from various walks of life were cherishing each moment and every step on this holy land.

A huge singboard showed the 12 zodic sign with the respective lingam of worship. We decided to pay visit to each lingam starting from Indra Lingam, Agni Lingam, Yama Lingam, Niruthi Lingam, Varuna Lingam, Vayu Lingam, Kubera Lingam and Esanya Lingam. There were many little shrines on the way. Chanting the name of Lord Shiva was sufficient. Large queues formed to get darshan of the lingams. The roads were so full that you could hardly see the road. The air was full of celebration. Everyone was walking, walking in the same direction... a wave of energy. At times were deviated and talking to each other on past experice but them were very soon put back on track chanting the Lord's name. The crowd was intense and ecstatic. All burning camphor and chanting the lords name. High energy filled the air.

We reached the Raja Gopuram at 11:45 a.m. Lit another camphor to mark the end of the Circumambulation.

This Girivalm happened on every full moon day of the month. For us it was a special one as we fast and continued to celebrate the Karthigai Deepam too. Krittika Deepam occurs annually in the lunar month of Kartika, which occurs in November/December, on the last day of the 10-day festival called Brahmotsavam.

Preparations for this day begins one month in advance with the local government and temple authorities. Earlier people from far off place would tend for this particular even for about 10 days. Early on a previous morning, puja was performed on the Deepam Cauldron pot, with Rukku, the Temple elephant and a cow from the Temple goshala, in attendance. Once the puja was completed, the Cauldron was carried out of the Temple to the hill top. It was 4:30 am on the 17th November, 2013, and the main sanctum sanctorum of the massive Tiruvannamalai Siva temple in Tamil Nadu was packed with souls who have been waiting all night for this moment.

The chief priest finished a simple ritual called bharani deepam and now ceremoniously waves a huge camphor flame in the direction of nearby Arunachala mountain. Finally, he touches the flame he is holding to the wicks of five huge, earthen, ghee-filled pots, representing the sacred elements earth, air, fire, water and ether. As these five flames loom up with red-yellow light, the famous, one-day, South Indian festival of Krittika Dipam officially begins. A single flame is then taken from the pots and kept burning in the Temple throughout the day as a symbol of the merging of manifestation back into God, the one source of all. This single flame is referred to as the Bharani Deepam. We watched the entire episode live on the TV channel, as it would be a herculean task to visit temple on this day.

Town's people and pilgrims from far afield, are climbing Arunachala some in order to secure a good viewing point for the evening's lighting of the 2013 Deepam cauldron, others so that they can personally deliver their ghee offerings to the top of Arunachala and some to just touch the cauldron that will hold the flame that will be lit that evening. From the town, the stream of people climbing up the slopes of Arunachala look like a line of tiny ants. There are many routes to climb the hill top. Those who climbed the Hill, from the Temple at the Virupaksha side know only too well of the rough, uneven path. Progress is slow, but progress is certain. Devotees carry containers of ghee and large pots of thick, braided cloth wicks to the top of Arunachala mountain.

We watched all this from the terrace of the house. While the ladies of the family were busy preparing for the grand feast late in the evening.

All across south India, millions of bonfires are lit on hills and in temples on Krittika Deepam. But nowhere is this festival celebrated like it is at Tiruvannamalai. Here it is unique. By 5:00 in the evening, the area surrounding the Temple flagpole, as well as the adjoining terrace, is packed. People are grabbing seats to observe the dramatic arrival of five exquisitely decorated palanquins, carrying the Hindu Gods Vinayaka, Subramanya, Siva, Amba and Chandikeshwara. The devotees are constantly moving and adjusting their positions to get a better view and to make way for still more people pouring in. At approximately 6:00 in the evening, a sacred fire is lit on top of the 2,668 foot Arunachala mountain to symbolize the merging of all manifest existence back into the one source of all things. It is said that those who witness this sacred ceremony personally receive the blessings of Siva and Parvati. All of the traditional temple rituals that are performed during Brahmotsavam create a spiritual fervency that culminate with great power on Krittika Deepam as a grand congregation of devotees, holy men, officials, police personnel and media squeeze together, shoulder to shoulder, to witness the festival's magnificent consummation.

Finally, the appointed moment arrives. Against the backdrop of a sunset sky, crowned with the rising star of Kartika, thundering firecrackers, ringing Temple bells and a frenzy of rhythmic chanting merge to create a cacophony of chaotic splendor. Camphor is lit in a cauldron by the Temple flag pole, signaling priests on top of the mountain to light their flame.

The timing is perfectly synchronized. People at the terence of their house too lit camphor in a cauldron and children start with firework. When that flame is seen by the thousands of devotees below, the entire countryside explodes with flashing luminescence. Bonfires, lamps, neon lights and fireworks light the night like day as a surging, thronging, emotionally charged mass of devotees chant, "Arunachala Siva," "Annamalai” and "Annamalai Harohara”. The very sight of the Krittika Deepam is magical. It brings an inexplicable joy. We were ecstatic, mesmerized by the light.

As the day waned into dusk and night begins to darken the sky, we could still see pilgrims moving around. I stood motionless at the base of Arunachala mountain, with anticipation  for the next Deepam too, to worship God Siva as an infinite pillar of light. Long-time pilgrims assert that, even years later, the very thought of an otherworldly moment like this recreates it, just as if it is happening fresh and new.

The moon was shining with its full glory. I felt so much gratitude for Annamalaiyar

Little Wish

Shanu is like most of the kids of her age: loves school day, but not the morning wake-up calls; loves to eat, but not the regular meals; loves to get dressed, but not in school uniform. We as parents [specially her father] have a hard time rustling her out of bed, and pushing to school. She is a remarkable daydreamer whose drawings have become an extension of her flights of fantasy. She often fantasized in her drawings of trees, houses, landscape, so on. Sometimes her daydreams extends to the classroom. Her teachers contacted us more than once about her need to pay better attention in classes.
Typical of hers generation, Shanu loves collecting toys as a kid. Her favourites are Barbie with friends and the Kitchen set--- all variations from earthen, to plastic, stainless steel and ceramic.
Kitchen set ! Ah---it keeps her engaged for hours. She is unto herself cooking and serving imaginary guests.
Sometimes I feel too sorry for her. May be I should spend some more time with her. Quantity of the time is  equally important as quality of time.
In the morning's hassle, I wake her up, help her finish the daily chore, dress her up, stuff her mouth; at time her hands too and push her though the door and out of home. Ah ! At last!! Come night and the same sequence repeats, but in reverse order. Change dress, feed her and push to bed. Her request for bed-time stories would at times be fulfilled, but lazily I would make up some hucus-pocus stories. Half as entertaining as it should be.

On the other hand, my son Pounn, I have to mention, is the replica of my husband, to such an extend that even the sleeping gesture is like him. May be when he is old enough to read this, could be surprised at. This is about his first fantasy. Or should I call it his first love .
Anshu, a tall fair girl in the neighbourhood. Around six months elder to Shanu, would sometime drop by to play. It is today [24th July 2013] that this gentleman of mine told 'I Love You' to her. Not sure what he meant, I was wondering what would have made this little one to spell the 3 magical words to this cute neighbour elder to him by 3 more years. The two girls laughed him to embarrassment. I did not know how it react. Just laugh it out; or, talk to him seriously. His father though warned him. He stood at the corner like a wet cat.

Thus, the two are in their own little world. Unaware or least bothered about the pains that we as grown-ups face. Thank God, for their innocence.  And touch-wood, they remain so as long as possible.

Once we were at Marudrai Meenashiamman temple. While offering prayers, to silence the two loud speakers, I asked them to pray and ask for any favours, for God would grant them immediately, as they were the best children. While I was wanting to buy/build our own home, I suggested the idea to the young man. Little did I know that his tiny mind had its own wish-list. 'I wish, my mom come and stay with me.' he murmured. I was moved. Moved looking at the love he had for me and how much he missed me. Ashamed at the same time helpless that I was a silent observant, and could do nothing more. I could not change this situation, at-lest for now. Being a working parent had its own returns.

My next prayer was a modified version: A Home where my entire family would peacefully reside.
Hope my and my little one's wish come true very soon.

Poor Pavan

Hi Everyone,
This is my first attempt at poetry, dedicated to my dear son:

Let us see if Pavan can
  be a little gentleman.
Let us see if he is able
  to sit still for once at table.

Thus Papa bade Pavan behave,
  and Mamma looked very grave.
But poor Pavan, can't sit still,
  To Shanu's embrace, he wriggles,
  To Tanu's graces, he giggles.

See the naughty, restless child
  Growing still more rude and wild,
And Papa made such a face!
   Pavan is in sad disgrace.

No food for him, declared Mama
   Poor Papa, and poor Pavan
Look quite cross, and wonder how
   we shall have our dinner now.

Never say Good Bye

The farewell trance inducing song Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna (English: Never Say Good Bye), from the Hindi movie Roti Kapda Aur Makaan was sung at the farewell party in the final year of our college. [I know it is the same in most of the farewell trances.]
Although we were moving ahead leaving behind memories of a 3--5 year-old friendship, to reach out our fortunes in the real world, chasing dreams, where in one can proof oneself and stay with them long-term. But, if life has other plans for us then this is the situation. Three years of togetherness, caring and sharing with some of those angle-like friends was to come to an end. Touch-wood, Iam still in-touch with those treasured friends. And that's a different story ! 

But, this is not the case when one decides to quit a job in a search to persuade their dream career. Or, if the company decides to down-size. Departing colleagues-friends is quite a different experience.

It was hardly 2 or 3 month that I had joined my first job as intern soon after my graduation. It is here that I realized how employees were treated when being laid off, even after years of dedicated service. I was just a little more than a fresher, what better could be expected. I was treated like a criminal when being laid off. They waited until the end of the day and told me it was due to the failing economy and I had done nothing wrong, but was given about 10 minutes notice and then stood over and rushed while I was trying to gather my personal belongings. It was as good as a slap on the face. I had hardly entered the corporate world and there was a end to it, all the way too soon. Many of the people were let go based on ‘LIFO' (Last-In : First-Out) as they are considered dispensable, so they may not complete their anniversary in their first job. Even after years, i still remember, it was a day of solar eclipse. I did not bother to take the bus or auto, but instead walked until I reached home heavy hearted. But, promised to myself that i'll never let it happen to me again. On my resume it shows up at short stints as if I were 'job-hopping' but in reality it was not.

Soon I joined forced with another company. Thank God; The silicon city never was short of hungry employers waiting to grasp potential candidates. Here I stayed, for nearly a decade. I grew with the company both personally and professionally. This company saw me grow from 'Miss' to 'Mrs'; from 'care-free adventurous-youth' to 'mature adult'; and in the process I had earned many friends for life. 
And when I decided to quit, a month was the transition time that I got, or was asked to. Any more would have overkill, I put down strongly. Seriously, they requested me to stay a month more, but knew that I couldn’t do much of anything in the last few weeks anyway. All the while, I was wondering how they would say goodbye to an employee who was leaving for another job — outside the company. If a valuable employee wants to quit it’s certainly worthwhile it to put up a fight. So, it started with, “Is there something I can do to change your mind?, blab, blab...” No counter offer could succeed to make a stand, as I had  already put one foot out of the door. But the recognition and offer for more money probably told the true intent in that first conversation. Fortunately, I had seen departures that were handled well. Goodbye's say a lot about us as leaders. I had seen more than a dozens in the 10-year span in this company. So knew the formalities. The exist interview was just a cleshay. With a pad of paper in front of you, asked what you can do better as a leader, how the team could run better, ... and so on. One may not be completely honest with it at first, but if the company stays open and receptive and start taking notes, chances are that one will start sharing some valuable tid-bits.

They let me go graciously. It’s about the person who’s leaving and, even more importantly, those who stay behind. How one says goodbye says a lot to his friends and co-workers. A small party was organised by my team. Someone took up the leadership of collecting money from the rest of team. Eachone made some contribution and bought a decent-size Silver Ganesha idol. It was presented to me in a tray full of fruits, flowers, bangles,... Woow... that was simply touching. Close friends gave individual memorables. Yes, they had actually stoped work at some point to acknowledge my departure. I wanted to take them and the team to lunch or have a get-together near the end of the last day. But was filled with grief by the thought of departure. I profusely thanked them, it was not just paying lip service. I really felt like a prized possession was being let go. Wow, that’s how you say "Goodbye" !

Years later, I was in my new office. It was a Friday, post lunch I could sense some chaos around. One collogue came down looking green and told us he'd been fired, the news spread like forest fire, one after the other, there were many in the row. It was part of general downsizing for the company. The kind where everyone was escorted out of the building by a security guard. Several of us intervened and the firing was rescinded, but for the time-being, only to be continued on the following Friday. The very thought that how employees were treated when being laid off, even after years of dedicated service was very scary nightmare. It was definitely a sad and lonely way to end the time with a company, to walk the gauntlet of cheers and backslaps with a wide grin. Up to that point, I recollect reading somewhere: ‘you are only as good as your last deal,’ but after that day, I knew it was very much true.  I spoke with a friend recently who had just retired from her company after long years of service. She was going to take care of her extended family. Disgusted she said, “Once I announced my retirement they could not wait to get me out fast enough. There’s no leaving there with honour.” It was very awful.

All I expect now is that, when I quit a company, I want them to say Thanks. Let me know that my service has been valued. I shall definitely work to leave one such mark. The reason I have changed positions is to better my career, not to just find another "job". Each step in a new direction has given me exceptional experience that I have been able to leverage at the next position. By the 3rd position, now, I have taken the next step in my career. Having a career focused rationalization has been beneficial and ultimately has taught me that being selfish is not necessarily always a bad thing as long as you are also there to benefit the company you are working for as well. 

A delectable dose

I will pass on a favourite tip I received when I was a new mom, there are many of my additions too. The technology today is a little different but the results will be the same. 

My mother-in-law, has a suit that my husband wore on this 3 or 4th birthday (she is not able to re-collect exactly). A nearly 40-year old Silver Kada anklet used by my hubby (later his brother and sister) were preserved for my kids. This delectable dose of vintage charm is a treasured gift that I shall carry to the next generation.

For your newborn child create a monthly tape. Once a month, put your video camera /mobile device and sit down with your child and roll the video for 1 to 2 minutes. You will never realise who   quickly they grow and change right under your nose.


Take pictures at every stage/milestone. You would love it someday down the lane. In fact, I made a collage of my son's pic to make a banner for his recent birthday party. Our guests, specially  my parents enjoyed the display. Took time to recollect an incident related to that particular 'time'. I had put together pictures of his 1st day in hospital, no soon he was born; the next was, may be a-month-old baby; when turned over, to craw; 1st day in uniform, to school; and so on. 

Voice record his/her rhyme, with emm.. huo... Sounds. One such was the ring tone of my mobile, for long. The baby babble and mispronunciation: first gurgling vocalizations, to the entertaining and sometimes maddening long speeches. My son was a slow starter. But no soon he started, there was no stopping. He seems to be speaking in a language of his own. Now when i play him, we have a good time.


Smear a bit of pad ink on the little one's foot and take an impression, you would love to compare and see how the tiny pawprints latter turn to footprints. Sometimes when iam down and suffering from depression, loneliness, I take a look at the footprints, that I took when my little one was 3 months old. They remind me of the poem: Footprints on the Sand by  Carolyn Joyce Carty.  Similarly each picture carries with it, memories of some or the other incident. Life-changing or not, it is worth it!

Discuss all the new things that happened over the last 30 days. And pen down. We are doing this for our 2 kids. And plan to continue until they are 10. The results are awesome. We prefer to watch and read them time and again. Recently a old relative had been home, and we play one such video, and all loved to watching it. It is much better than any other movie or videos games.  Even kids love them, as they are the main character around whom the film revolves.. Wow Grandpa used to have hair!, Dad looked lean, Mom had long hair, …...Where is this frock now....that dress? Those shoes...

The nursery ID card, report card, test paper, all are preserved along with the class photo. Take a lesson or two from the  Montessori training class (a lot of material can be accessed on-line). They are not just for aspiring  Montessori teacher; young, 1st time parents too, need to know lots about sensorial work. These knowledge come handy in parenting. Learn a bit of  'child-psychology'. Most of the time you 'No' would mean 'Yes' to them. My son says 'tomorrow' when I actually means 'yesterday'.

Those ephemeral joys of childhood and initial years of the parenthood are just amazing. Take at look and recap those fine moments. Live the moment at the same time carry the memories so that you can live with it later too. There’s a mystery to be unraveled each time.

When I found the Profound...

To better-plan and balance the home- and work-life, an office close to home was what I was seeking initially; so that I could spend less on commuting, and more with family. But what I got in return was amazing, and beyond my asking.

Not just close enough to call it 'walk-able', it has all the best things an employee can ask for, put together. The woOw factor is the flexible timing. Like any other corporate office, we are required to stay in office premises for 40 hours a week but, the check-in and -out timings are not rigid, as long as one is able to keep up the deadline. This gave me a lot of flexibility to attend to my kids and their home work, make-up the PT meetings at school promptly, fix the leaking tap, re-fill groceries, visit bank, or any other task that otherwise would have called to apply for half-a-day's leave.

The 200+ that are employed here are young spirit, though remind me that Iam a decade older [may be Iam the only one who is dressed in saree most of the time] still, they make me feel young. The usual de-stressers are the carom, tt, and fussball. The bigscreen of the plasma TV for the cricket lovers, is definitely quotable. We have a few serious cricketers who would make up to challenge the internal teams to the out-doors, during week-ends, of-course. The latest in-line is the IRC ---Impelsys Runner's Club. Meet you at the Bangalore Midnight Marathon in Dec !

Within office space, we are very happy for it is fun to work in such an ambiance. Every Monday, the HR team brings to us something amazing, true and inspiring stories to get rid of the Monday blues and to energize the team for the day and for the week ahead. Mid-week, we get to know more about a couple of colleagues through the culture of 'know your colleagues' whom, we otherwise would have known as just 'Hi-Bye' friends. Come week-ends and the much awaited 'Fun-Friday' with mind-twists like: scrambles, caption content, crazy captions, crossword puzzle, picture puzzle, guess the celebrity, jumble words, and many more to relax. Just that we guys find it challenging to balance with the week-end project deadlines against the tempting prize gifts of the contest.

At times there are other events that make us 'feel-at-home'. Ethic day, birthday celebrations, festival celebrations and so on. Now, looking forward towards Impelsys' first ever Halloween Party. Employee satisfaction survey is conducted so that voices of the employees are heard. The candid input are considered for fixing problems that generally demotivate people.

The best part of my office is that there is no hierarchical seating. This means that the new floor where we recently moved has the management and the rest of the employees sit together in an open layout without any cabins separating the staff from the Boss. There is not even the cubicle separation that would normally be built around an employee. There are just big-long tables with teams seated facing each other across. There is no such thing as formal environment in our office and we are always having some fun event or the other. This is the reason why we see ourself full of life, even when we have to work to exhaust ourself to meet the critical (at times un-realistic) deadlines. All these help to improve relationships and in-turn productivity.

Overall, a great place to work at!

Yes, She is my daughter

I was a smart kid at school and college, and very popular among the teaching staff and class-mates. It was may be because, I took part in all activities in the campus, added to it was my thick and long hair, which gracefully was flowing well below my waist, upto nearly my knee. I still remember my last day in college, all friends longed to take a group photo with me. Thus was my popularity.

Once out of college and started to look for job, I slowly realised that being smart was not enough, one had to have a fair skin too. Newspaper advertisements called for good-looking candidates; one with pleasing personalities, and so on. Until then I was under the impression that personality was internal. But No ! 'pleasing personality' meant --- one with fair skin. I was a failure, in the job market, as a fresher.

Same was the case in the marriage market. People before me comment saying Iam dark and therefore ugly. At times it shattered my egos, bruising my self confidence and I was scarred for life. Everyone told me it would be difficult to find a groom for Iam very dark.

From the day, I began to realise that I am dark born, I tried different oils, lotions, creams to change my skin colour. But, it would not. It was in my genes. I had taken over my dark skinned dad. Instead of my fair skinned mother. [Relate the joke by Jagan in Ayyan: where he says "Amma paal, appa decoction"]. Everyone ridiculed me for being born a dark girl. Thanks to the Indians ideology 'white is beautiful'. 

Not long before, my prayers were heard. A fair skinned handsome guy came forward to marry me. Of-course our's was an arranged marriage, and fortunately for me, none from his family saw me as dark skinned. In fact, they credited me for being brave to overcome such racist approach. I no longer spoke of the black skin paranoia. But the devil re-appeared in a different form.

I gave birth to a baby girl. Was worried that I would have to undergo all the trouble my mom had and I may have to do all the things that she did to change my skin colour. The little angle saved me from all such trouble. Same as me, she took over her father. She is born Indian white.

It was not long before that I realised, when I took her out for a stroll, people thought I was her 'Ayya' [baby-sitter], I could read it on their face. Such was the difference between us. She in no way resembled me. I can re-collect the dialogue that happened between me and a known lady on an occasion unknown. It was as:

Acquaintance: Who is this beautiful angle? [coddling my baby in pram]

Me: My daughter [Proudly]
Acquaintance: Unbelievable ! [shockingly] Paatha apadi theriyalae. [trans. Doesn’t look like that.]
Me: emm...Yes, she is my daughter.[I insisted]
Acquaintance: Uhh .. I mean..., I meant … since.. She is not like you. You see ! [remorsefully]

The damage was already done. But, was she not right? Sahana did not resemble me in any way. As days passed, many said this to me. I had a solution to this.

Watch this one:

If not by looks, at-lest by cloths. Now I can tell: 'like mother : like daughter'

My Creations

My Creations

I love to design and stitch fashionable outfits.

The hobby started during my school days, when my younger sister was in her nursery.

The first dress that I stitched was for her--- a sleeveless salwar kameez. The sleeveless top was light pink flowery pattern with plain peach colour bottom. It looked great. And motivated me to move further in pursing this hobby.

Next was freel frock. Black for the base and creamy while for the flare. It boosted my enthusiasm. Next came many more like one. Each of which fitted my baby model very well. She was my experimental super-model, who made no fuss of any outfit-failure.

As I stated to attend college, I stitched my own Salwar suites. Everything that I saw, inspired and fascinated me. I even stitched curtains, sofa covers, cushions, and what not!

Once married, time did not permit to explore more, so I had to discontinue my hobby. But one of the wedding gift kept reminding me to re-venture. It was a sewing machine from my sister. On being a parent. ... things changes and was again pushed to stitching, from nappies to baby blanket, bed, mini pillow and so on.

This time, it was my daughter's turn to be my model. Below are few pictures of my creations

 Me and my daughter, in the rama-green hacuba pattern kurti

Sahana in a Keralan-styled long skirt, which i stitched from my Husband's shaylia.

Shanu in shades of peacock blue/green.Shanu in blue full skirt with green blouse, with green piping and copper-colour work attached

Full flair white with black cheetah print skirt; with a baby pink top and freel to match it. I stitched this for a get-to-gather, at my sis-in-law, this year. 

Peach colour with black print went well with black top and piping for the frock.

To attend Tanu's cradle ceremony, i chose to stitched a black with white polka dots, laced with red satin ribbon and red brooch, that i attached with a safety pin.

A bit of jenes with pink piping for the top went well with the bold multi-colour pattern of the long gown. All accessories are bold multi-coloured: her hair band, bangles and neck piece.

For the engagement ceremony of a cousin, I chose to stitch this lavender colour satin party gown, with side lock, that went well for the evening party.

The left-over's were put to maximum use. The piece of green satin with bronze colour chamki work and the golden colour lace that were the remains of a chocolate box wrapping, was used to make this frock which she wore for a wedding reception.

Inspired by Jyothika, in the song 'Motru ondru...' in the film Kushi, I made this one with a colour change. Replacing the cream colour with peach made it perfect for day and night wear.

The remains after switching a salwar suit from the dress material, was creatively used to stitch this two layer freel frock. All that was spent was the blue satin lace for piping/finishing and zip to fasten.

Many more to follow. Waiting to update with more pic.

In my gene

As I mentioned in another blog of mine, I once had thick-black and long hair. Which is now a chronicle of history for me.

Until my primary schooling I had a cute bob hair cut, when my hair was trimmed regularly to keep it short and manageable. By the time I was in my middle school, I had stopped going to the saloon for the hair cut. May be out of choice, which I cannot no longer remember. My mother applied oil regularly and combed my hair. She made a centre partition to tie up to make two plait that would be folded and tied up with the help of a ribbon. I got compliments from my class teacher for being neat and tidy till the end-of-the-day. To set an example, Mrs. Leema, my class teacher called me to stand in front of the class and showed the other pupils how to pin up hair, that would not be distorted till the end-of-the-day. It encouraged me to nurture my hair. I did not take any extra measures, but to oil and wash regularly to keep away dust and dandruff. Oiling one's hair with plain and pure coconut oil is all one needs for healthy hair.

As years went by, my hair had grown as long as three-feet and still growing, may be genes in fact are partly to credited for this. Just that it took a little longer to wash and dry, there was nothing that bothered me. No special maintenance, or any special oil and shampoo, just the regular ones that the rest of the family used. But have to admit that it would take me over an hour to wash it. Than another hour to remove knots & tangles and brush even. After washing I would never brush them. Just wrap up in a long cotton cloth until all moisture was absorbed. And used a wide-toothed comb, to avoid frizz and split ends. An unwritten rule at my home would be that I enter the bathroom last.

At times, I felt low as I could not reinvent or try some new hair style. The fancy clip and hair accessories that generally fit my friend's hair-do, did not go well with mine. I could not use a lot of clips, buns, slides, clutches, pins that would allow one to style hair. Even a simple pony tail was impossible was I could not roll up the bundle more than once. I had to tie it up or plait it. But was happy that I grew to be popular. People identified me by my long hair. All of us want to have a mane that we can play with at the right time. And even if a woman is not too fond of long hair, she also wants healthy hair and problem free scalp.

There were many occasion, like my wedding, when guests wondered if I was wearing extensions. At my wedding reception, I could not go for a bun, that was in fashion, at that time. I just let loose the hair, with hair-spray to let it stand in place. But, by the end of the show, a lot of it had tangled in the garland around my neck making it impossible to remove without chopping either one of them. I preferred to cut of portion of the hair, not the garland. While many drool longingly at the models in the shampoo ads, which strut their long hair effortlessly in the wind; believe me, it was not that easy, as it looks. More than the cost, the time and energy spent on maintenance is great. If proper care is not taken, they could become dry and brittle, and have split end.

At 4 ft 4 inches, I had to ensure that I hold in my hand and bring it to the front and wear like a dupatta across the shoulder, so that it does not touch the floor rather than sweep it. There have even been times when I sat on my own hair. Once, when driving pavilion in my husband's two wheeler, a traffic inspector alerted me, if my hair would go into the wheels. My in-laws would tease my husband asking to use me for advertisement and endorsement of hair-care products. Or, apply for records. I knew, that the crown sits proudly on the head of the clear winner whose hair was long enough to set the book of records, and mine stood amid a bevy of ladies whose hair barely reaches their knee.

At 5 ft, people would ask me the secret of my long hair, and I would advice saying: Actually it's not too difficult to maintain hair and have a good scalp. Apart from washing it frequently and nourishing it from outside, it's important that you nourish it from within. The actual secret was in my genes.

After the birth of my second child, I went for a tonsure. I could no longer boast of long hair as in my youth since I had now lost the treasured inheritance.

Many had earlier asked me if I felt it heavy on my shoulder, i had immediately reply with a big No. Now i cannot resist the urge to go to the parlour and get a trim if not a full hair cut. I immediately dismiss the thought of growing my hair again, if given a choice. The reason being the time and effort that goes into growing them. Whether it is incorporating a fringe, a splash of colour or adding length and volume to the hair, extensions can help to attain any style in minutes. And Iam quite happy with my less than half-feet long hair now.

Alphabetical Autobiography

A:  Age: [top secret]. Believe in 'Age is an issue of mind over matter' [If you don't mind, it doesn't mater !].
B: Bangalore is my home town and I am extremely glad and proud that I have born and grown up here.
    I hate it when I'm bored to death."
C: Good cloths and Compliments can sustain me for months.
D: I prefer going dutch because I don't want to feel indebt to anyone.
E: That's easier said than done, specially when hubby is around.
F: Whenever I feel blue, I like to listen to music or watch a movie. Family and friends are two of the most important things in my life. I value little else above spending time with them.
G: always wanted to be 'go-getter'.
H: I don't have the guts to go bungee jumping. Hate it when people lie.
I: I believe that Ignorance is no excuse.
J: junk food- i love them.
K: Kind even when I want to be mean
L: love to learn more and more languages.
M: mindful- specially when related to kids.
N: Nick name: Koms
O: optimistic in nature; at times opportunist too.
P: I like to find practical uses for everyday items.
Q: not Quite witty, sarcastic, and a little vain.
R: Rain or shine, one can count me in. I show commitment to word.
S: I spend my leisure time practicing sketching. I consider drawing/painting an area that I am gifted in, and I intend to keep developing that gift.
T: thankful, to my creator.
U: Unlikely to be a CEO, I daydream too much.
V: I am voluminous in personality, if not in physique.
W: Writing is my joy, but i know, iam not that good at it.
X: Xtra weird and proud of it.
Y: Yummy Food, i try to cook.
Z: 'Zindagi jeene ke liye' is my concept of life.

What is in thy name

The only thing that others use more often than me -- my name.

Komala, How I love the very sound of this name! It is pronounced Ko-ma-la and consists of 6 letters and 3 syllables. The popularity of the name Komala has changed over time. The origin of this Hindu name is Indian (Sanskrit) and is commonly used for females, exception listed below.
The meaning of the name Komala is: Pleasing to the senses, Tender, Delicate, soft,  green, [Orange in Manipuri]. Iam true to name, So: 'HANDLE WITH CARE'.
Komala has lots nicknames: Komal, komu,  koms, and so on. But one of my client often mispronounce as 'Kormala'
Some say there's no meaning for KOMALA other than, of course, that it's the name of a Japanese spy.

Some famous personalities by this name are:
Komala valli -- the birth name of J. Jayalalitha---Chief Minister of Tamil Nadu.
Her Royal Highness Princess Komala Saovabha -- was the Princess of Siam[ later Thailand]. She was a daughter of Chulalongkorn, King Rama V of Siam and Chao Chom Manda Wong.
A. P. Komala -- was a South Indian playback singer.
Komalah -- is a Kurdish political party in Iran.
Komala puram--  is a census town in Alappuzha district in Kerala.
Komal Kumar -- is such a Versatile actor in Kannada film Industry.

A Indian vegetarian restaurant chain is quite famous in Singapore, Pure Vegetarian, South Indian Refreshment in Mumbai, too.
Komala cafe. Komala Stores, Komala glasses and Plywood, and  what not !! A TV channel by KOMALA TV too. [www.tvkomala.com/kurdi/index.htm]
But i own none.

Here is the latest news with my name
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-23848714

Myself

Words can't fully describe what I am. Yet I would do my best to draw a faint outline.

Name: You know it.
Born: Yes, I am.
Highest Education: Still learning.
My Hobbies: Pencil Sketching, Fashion Designing [and stitching as well].
Proof:  visit my other post ' my creation'.
Describe self in 3 sentences: Obedient daughter(at times), Loving wife(sometimes demanding too), Tolerant D-i-L, caring and proud mother of 2 brats, adorable friend to many, foe to few. Above all 'Woman' of substance, that should define all.

Most treasured quality: My ability to live for the moment

Favourite books: Wings on fire [APJ Kalam], The saint who sold his Ferrari [Robin Sharma]. The Secret, The Magic.

Greatest Fear: Fear of survival

Place that would love to visit: Vecchio Forno [Italy-- heard a lot about it, from my master].

To be remembered for: I want to be remembered as someone who has a generous spirit, and always with a smile & a warm heart.

The one thing I'd change about myself:
There are so many things that i'd have no idea if i'd ever achieve it. Either physically: growing old, emotionally: being mature [love to be child-like], and intellectually: being mindless.

If I were invisible for a day, that would i love to do:
I will try to accomplish one thing that every one think is “impossible”. Pick my camera and cover all the corrupted people, so that my society is clean. Or, at-the-lest follow my kids [parental instinct !].

I am simple, caring, and loving.
I feel very shy and hesitant talking initially to an outsider or even a relative. I believe in celebration. I celebrate every single movement, to such an extent that i wrote a 10-page write-up describing every day of my pregnancy, I have taken impressions of my daughter's footprint even before she could attempt or begin to walk. I just love surprises; may be so, too quickly disappointed, as my husband just does not know the meaning of surprise. The early morning sunshine on closed eyes (i do it as part of my eye exercise , fresh fruits, pillow fights with kids, dancing, candlelight dinners, sunlight on water, comedy on TV, a good book, puzzle game, cooking a meal for someone special. The fresh air, the wonders of nature, being naughty, singing out loud to a song, getting away for a weekend, listening to the sound of rain while sipping hot coffee, starring at nothing, thinking about nothing........

Climbing into bed with fresh clean sheets; a note to add here, like me, my son too loves it. Every time he visits us, I ensure that the bedspreads are changed and are clean and fresh.
Love to laugh till it hurts [I turn off the TV or switch to another channel, the moment there is a sober episode in the serial]. I love camping, mutual respect, freedom, rain on the window, lazy Sunday mornings spent in bed-–sometime until 10:00 a.m.
Movies---we rarely visit theatre, may be a couple of times in a year.

There are something that I do not love too, Pets ! (or pest ?!) It may sound strange, but is true. I cannot stand a dog licking all over the owner face or a kitten running about the house. Iam too lazy to feed the fish either. Once my daughter asked if we can rear a pet for which I replied, that I can handle just one at a time. And that she was more than enough. 
I hate lies and lairs. Analytical at mind and emotional at heart, I am not religious but I am spiritual kind of person, very calm and sensitive. Beyond just believing, my love is unconditional and I give my family enough space and freedom...
I want my husband to be a not just a good but a great father for my kids, just as I have one.

I know that marriages don't just work as they need to be worked on everyday with a common goal of mutual happiness! I am a die hard romantic, who believes in fairy tales and 'they lived happily ever after' stories.

The best day of my life

The best day of my life

Today, when I awoke, I suddenly realized that this is the best day of my life, ever! There were times when I wondered if I would make it to today; but I did.

Woke up around a half past six, even before the alarm would go. Can't believe that I'm not late again. Peacefully sat in the sofa and lazily browser the daily; and planned the menu for the breakfast and lunch. The refrigerator and stores was just complete of all the necessary ingredients, that would be required for the cooking. No last minute rush, searching for anything; everything was just perfect.

Made some hot coffee for husband, to wake him up. Went out for the morning's walk and some light workout along with hubby. The morning dew, the sun, the clouds, the trees, the flowers, the birds everything around was beautiful to marvel at. Today none of these miraculous creations escaped my notice. Back home, kids were up and at the dinning table fully dressed to school. Wondered how blessed I was to have such independent one's. I kissed them Bye and send them to school, to resume the cooking lunch for in-laws.

Had a soothing hot bath to start my pulse and then I grabbed my jeans and look into the mirror to find myself, younger and beautiful, and lighter than yesterday.

Then I hit the door, took off to Office. I decided go out of my way to perform an unexpected act of kindness for someone I don't even know. Incidentally it so happened that a old lady was struggling to cross the road. I stopped by, asked her if I could help her in any way. She showed me an address scribbled on a piece of paper. I took time to read it. I offered to drop her to the place for which she agreed instantly. About 15 min drive and we were at the place. She thanked me profusely and I left from there with a deep sense of satisfaction for I had completed today's 'good-deed' task. Entered office to see smiling faces and greeting friends; finally sat down to work with a hot cup of lemon-tea. Started to download of mails. Greeting from client, sincere compliments, appreciation mail from Boss for the accomplishments, and blaab blaab blaaa...

Hot lunch with appetizers was served at the office cafeteria. Quickly munched the same to have a brief chat with friends [socializing is a woman’s 'birth-right' you see !]. Returned to work till evening. Planning and executing to ensures everything would be just perfect in my projects.

A dozen roses was delivered by florist with a card reading "Happy Birthday". My husband had not forgotten my birthday, unlike last year. Rushed home, a quick shower and picked the outfit for dinner. Primped before mirror---Just the same old same quotes---Candlelight dinner for two. I was on cloud nine when he said how deeply he cared for me and how much i meant to him.

Picked the kids from creche, thanking the baby-sitter for working the extra hours for which she nodded with joy. I knew she was equally happy about spending some extra time with my little angles.

As the day ended and I lay my head down on my pillow, raised my eyes to the heavens and praised God for the magnificent treasures. My best day......


Ttrrrrring went the alarm. It was already half past six and I was still in my bed---dreaming!. I should say Day-dream, as it was already day, yet another day! Rush to the doors to collect the news paper that was thrown at the door step. But the milk was carefully place in the small bag that I had hung at the gate's handle knob. Be a little late and the kittens from the neighbourhood would have had their day relishing on it.

As I took the stairs up, hurried browsed the front page; drop the paper on the table for the others to read it peacefully. Entered Kitchen, to see it every clean and sparkling. It was a delight to start cooking fresh in a clean and tidy place. Opened the refrigerators... Alas, I had again forgotten to pick the fresh veggies. All that was left was some old potatoes and pale beans. The stationary too needed re-filling. I'll have to manage till the week-end until I find enough to fill-up the jars. Made some coffee for hubby. Left it on the bed side table with a wake call. On hearing me, he rolled-off to the other side of the bed. No time to waste there. I rushed to the kids with milk, they too needs some rough handling. Back to kitchen cooking to pack lunch-boxes for all of us. I re-collected the kid's time table. ---No junk, no Jam, no eggs, no this, and no that. I had to pack for the 1^st and 2^nd interval, and no repetition please ! I could hear my hubby up and walk out for his yoga class. I would not be able to join him today either. I had to prepare break fast before he is back, ready on table now. The kids were too young to be independent, I had to help them get dressed and all the while was training and encourage them, teaching to brush and dress and finally brought them to the table. Checked to see if the home-work was complete. “Pom-pom” went the horn of the school van. Finally sent them to school hurriedly, with their mouth stuffed with the last piece of dosa. Same with hubby too.

A quick hot shower and I was ready to office. A look at the mirror. I was growing older. Another layer of fat around the tummy. 1^st signs of aging---a couple of gray hair has started to show up. I'll have to wait till the week-end for the parlour visit, and this time 'hair-coloring' would be added item in the menu. Wondered what more to cope-up with.

On the way to office fortunately nothing incidental took-place. Within office greeting and returning a few smiles on the way to my desk, I picked a hot cup and settled down to download mails. One after the other, one or the other issue, complains, concerns, and so on. Was this happening only to me and my projects. No... definitely not. And what if, it is happening to others as well. It is not going to make my day any easier. After-all it is because these 'issues, complains, concerns' are existent, that my job is existing. What if there were no issues, what would others think about me, my performance. I recollected a quote that I read some where 'others thinking would not make my nights any shorter'. Whoos.. what was I doing!!. Pushing all these non-sense argument aside, I continue and in no time was again deep-drown into the task. Until a colleague pinged to say it was time for lunch. I took out the box that I prepared morning. The food was just warm in the thermo-ware. Lazily chewed the same all the while chatting with colleagues, exchanging cooking tips and sharing food too. By the time gathered enough momentum to return to work. Again the same old follow-up mails, reminders, 'to-do' lists, and couple of meetings and it was now time to call it a day.

Living in metro had its own pros and cons. The traffic was terrific. I cursed the PM to CM, the home minister and the transportation minister for the poor roads and the delaying traffic. I was late as usual. Cut another sorry to the baby-sitter who passed a sarcastic grin, generously tipped her too for the courtesy showed for the extra hours.

Back home, checked to see what was left-over of the lunch and prepared some chapattis; just to ensure that some whole grain servings is added to the menu to make it 'complete'.

As the day ended, some bed-time stories was recited to kids to put them to sleep before sharing the day's adventures. Of-course they had a long story to narrate as well. I put them to sleep and quickly fell asleep before reminding myself not to forget anything for the next day. I was yet another women trying to juggle careers, children and elderly relatives, and of course loving hubby.

May be this is in fact my best day too. Not sure again what is in store for tomorrow. Another best day !!

Childhood Memories

Home sweet home

We returned home from native after cheerfully spending the year's summer vacations, along with other cousins at grandma’s home. After long hours of travel, we were left with no energy to take any quick step to enter our home. With sleepy eyes, mother was digging her bag to find the gate keys---but, in vain. Alas! The keys were misplaced, may be in one of those small bags back with grandma. Those were the days when telephones were existing but in few homes. Mobiles devices were alien. It was nearly impractical to return to fetch the keys. Mother re-collected that a second set of keys were available. But in the cabinet draws of the living room of the sweet home that we were now stand out-of. To climb up the 6-ft-high gates of the compound wall was quite easy for a 8-year-old like me. But how could mother and sister cross over.

An idea striked to my little brain. I convinced the family and put on the right foot to climb the main-gate. Did not jump to the other-side, instead walked all along to the compound wall taking careful steps to reach the rear of the building which hosted the old-fashion high sealing tiled roof of the kitchen. Siting on the roof-top, I did some calculations and removed around four inter-locked roof tiles. The space was enough to let me in. But, my calculations went wrong, instead of the lintel, I landed near the wash-space deep down. Still, thanked my stars, for a-foot to the left, would have landed me on the pounding stone [the traditional mortar buried in the ground with the heavy club-shaped pestle leaning at one corner].

Moving in the dark, with stretched hands, I continued until could reach the switch on the outer wall of the kitchen. The light brighten the pathway along the corridor. Thus was able to reach the living room but with little difficulty. I succeeded to take a grasp of the keys after running my fingers in the drawer and confidently walked across the room to open the 'door-lock' of the 'Home-[indeed]-Sweet-Home' from inside. A sense of pride filled me. On stepping out, I could see the darkness of the night had swallowed the view of the main gate. I did not attempt to light the lawn, as i knew, the control switch was out-of-my control. I screamed “got the keys!” and rushed toward the sound that came as reply. I tripled over the lawn edging. It was as corner stone, that was holding the soil and water from entering the walk-way. At that time, it did not hurt much, or may be, my enthusiasm did not let me to bother much about it. I let open the gate and allowed the rest of the family in.

The adventure though lasted for no more than an hour, the memories are trailing all along, to this day. Especially each time I look at the mirror. As the scar very close to the right eye would have left me blinded by one eye during my little adventure.