Yes, She is my daughter

I was a smart kid at school and college, and very popular among the teaching staff and class-mates. It was may be because, I took part in all activities in the campus, added to it was my thick and long hair, which gracefully was flowing well below my waist, upto nearly my knee. I still remember my last day in college, all friends longed to take a group photo with me. Thus was my popularity.

Once out of college and started to look for job, I slowly realised that being smart was not enough, one had to have a fair skin too. Newspaper advertisements called for good-looking candidates; one with pleasing personalities, and so on. Until then I was under the impression that personality was internal. But No ! 'pleasing personality' meant --- one with fair skin. I was a failure, in the job market, as a fresher.

Same was the case in the marriage market. People before me comment saying Iam dark and therefore ugly. At times it shattered my egos, bruising my self confidence and I was scarred for life. Everyone told me it would be difficult to find a groom for Iam very dark.

From the day, I began to realise that I am dark born, I tried different oils, lotions, creams to change my skin colour. But, it would not. It was in my genes. I had taken over my dark skinned dad. Instead of my fair skinned mother. [Relate the joke by Jagan in Ayyan: where he says "Amma paal, appa decoction"]. Everyone ridiculed me for being born a dark girl. Thanks to the Indians ideology 'white is beautiful'. 

Not long before, my prayers were heard. A fair skinned handsome guy came forward to marry me. Of-course our's was an arranged marriage, and fortunately for me, none from his family saw me as dark skinned. In fact, they credited me for being brave to overcome such racist approach. I no longer spoke of the black skin paranoia. But the devil re-appeared in a different form.

I gave birth to a baby girl. Was worried that I would have to undergo all the trouble my mom had and I may have to do all the things that she did to change my skin colour. The little angle saved me from all such trouble. Same as me, she took over her father. She is born Indian white.

It was not long before that I realised, when I took her out for a stroll, people thought I was her 'Ayya' [baby-sitter], I could read it on their face. Such was the difference between us. She in no way resembled me. I can re-collect the dialogue that happened between me and a known lady on an occasion unknown. It was as:

Acquaintance: Who is this beautiful angle? [coddling my baby in pram]

Me: My daughter [Proudly]
Acquaintance: Unbelievable ! [shockingly] Paatha apadi theriyalae. [trans. Doesn’t look like that.]
Me: emm...Yes, she is my daughter.[I insisted]
Acquaintance: Uhh .. I mean..., I meant … since.. She is not like you. You see ! [remorsefully]

The damage was already done. But, was she not right? Sahana did not resemble me in any way. As days passed, many said this to me. I had a solution to this.

Watch this one:

If not by looks, at-lest by cloths. Now I can tell: 'like mother : like daughter'

My Creations

My Creations

I love to design and stitch fashionable outfits.

The hobby started during my school days, when my younger sister was in her nursery.

The first dress that I stitched was for her--- a sleeveless salwar kameez. The sleeveless top was light pink flowery pattern with plain peach colour bottom. It looked great. And motivated me to move further in pursing this hobby.

Next was freel frock. Black for the base and creamy while for the flare. It boosted my enthusiasm. Next came many more like one. Each of which fitted my baby model very well. She was my experimental super-model, who made no fuss of any outfit-failure.

As I stated to attend college, I stitched my own Salwar suites. Everything that I saw, inspired and fascinated me. I even stitched curtains, sofa covers, cushions, and what not!

Once married, time did not permit to explore more, so I had to discontinue my hobby. But one of the wedding gift kept reminding me to re-venture. It was a sewing machine from my sister. On being a parent. ... things changes and was again pushed to stitching, from nappies to baby blanket, bed, mini pillow and so on.

This time, it was my daughter's turn to be my model. Below are few pictures of my creations

 Me and my daughter, in the rama-green hacuba pattern kurti

Sahana in a Keralan-styled long skirt, which i stitched from my Husband's shaylia.

Shanu in shades of peacock blue/green.Shanu in blue full skirt with green blouse, with green piping and copper-colour work attached

Full flair white with black cheetah print skirt; with a baby pink top and freel to match it. I stitched this for a get-to-gather, at my sis-in-law, this year. 

Peach colour with black print went well with black top and piping for the frock.

To attend Tanu's cradle ceremony, i chose to stitched a black with white polka dots, laced with red satin ribbon and red brooch, that i attached with a safety pin.

A bit of jenes with pink piping for the top went well with the bold multi-colour pattern of the long gown. All accessories are bold multi-coloured: her hair band, bangles and neck piece.

For the engagement ceremony of a cousin, I chose to stitch this lavender colour satin party gown, with side lock, that went well for the evening party.

The left-over's were put to maximum use. The piece of green satin with bronze colour chamki work and the golden colour lace that were the remains of a chocolate box wrapping, was used to make this frock which she wore for a wedding reception.

Inspired by Jyothika, in the song 'Motru ondru...' in the film Kushi, I made this one with a colour change. Replacing the cream colour with peach made it perfect for day and night wear.

The remains after switching a salwar suit from the dress material, was creatively used to stitch this two layer freel frock. All that was spent was the blue satin lace for piping/finishing and zip to fasten.

Many more to follow. Waiting to update with more pic.

In my gene

As I mentioned in another blog of mine, I once had thick-black and long hair. Which is now a chronicle of history for me.

Until my primary schooling I had a cute bob hair cut, when my hair was trimmed regularly to keep it short and manageable. By the time I was in my middle school, I had stopped going to the saloon for the hair cut. May be out of choice, which I cannot no longer remember. My mother applied oil regularly and combed my hair. She made a centre partition to tie up to make two plait that would be folded and tied up with the help of a ribbon. I got compliments from my class teacher for being neat and tidy till the end-of-the-day. To set an example, Mrs. Leema, my class teacher called me to stand in front of the class and showed the other pupils how to pin up hair, that would not be distorted till the end-of-the-day. It encouraged me to nurture my hair. I did not take any extra measures, but to oil and wash regularly to keep away dust and dandruff. Oiling one's hair with plain and pure coconut oil is all one needs for healthy hair.

As years went by, my hair had grown as long as three-feet and still growing, may be genes in fact are partly to credited for this. Just that it took a little longer to wash and dry, there was nothing that bothered me. No special maintenance, or any special oil and shampoo, just the regular ones that the rest of the family used. But have to admit that it would take me over an hour to wash it. Than another hour to remove knots & tangles and brush even. After washing I would never brush them. Just wrap up in a long cotton cloth until all moisture was absorbed. And used a wide-toothed comb, to avoid frizz and split ends. An unwritten rule at my home would be that I enter the bathroom last.

At times, I felt low as I could not reinvent or try some new hair style. The fancy clip and hair accessories that generally fit my friend's hair-do, did not go well with mine. I could not use a lot of clips, buns, slides, clutches, pins that would allow one to style hair. Even a simple pony tail was impossible was I could not roll up the bundle more than once. I had to tie it up or plait it. But was happy that I grew to be popular. People identified me by my long hair. All of us want to have a mane that we can play with at the right time. And even if a woman is not too fond of long hair, she also wants healthy hair and problem free scalp.

There were many occasion, like my wedding, when guests wondered if I was wearing extensions. At my wedding reception, I could not go for a bun, that was in fashion, at that time. I just let loose the hair, with hair-spray to let it stand in place. But, by the end of the show, a lot of it had tangled in the garland around my neck making it impossible to remove without chopping either one of them. I preferred to cut of portion of the hair, not the garland. While many drool longingly at the models in the shampoo ads, which strut their long hair effortlessly in the wind; believe me, it was not that easy, as it looks. More than the cost, the time and energy spent on maintenance is great. If proper care is not taken, they could become dry and brittle, and have split end.

At 4 ft 4 inches, I had to ensure that I hold in my hand and bring it to the front and wear like a dupatta across the shoulder, so that it does not touch the floor rather than sweep it. There have even been times when I sat on my own hair. Once, when driving pavilion in my husband's two wheeler, a traffic inspector alerted me, if my hair would go into the wheels. My in-laws would tease my husband asking to use me for advertisement and endorsement of hair-care products. Or, apply for records. I knew, that the crown sits proudly on the head of the clear winner whose hair was long enough to set the book of records, and mine stood amid a bevy of ladies whose hair barely reaches their knee.

At 5 ft, people would ask me the secret of my long hair, and I would advice saying: Actually it's not too difficult to maintain hair and have a good scalp. Apart from washing it frequently and nourishing it from outside, it's important that you nourish it from within. The actual secret was in my genes.

After the birth of my second child, I went for a tonsure. I could no longer boast of long hair as in my youth since I had now lost the treasured inheritance.

Many had earlier asked me if I felt it heavy on my shoulder, i had immediately reply with a big No. Now i cannot resist the urge to go to the parlour and get a trim if not a full hair cut. I immediately dismiss the thought of growing my hair again, if given a choice. The reason being the time and effort that goes into growing them. Whether it is incorporating a fringe, a splash of colour or adding length and volume to the hair, extensions can help to attain any style in minutes. And Iam quite happy with my less than half-feet long hair now.

Alphabetical Autobiography

A:  Age: [top secret]. Believe in 'Age is an issue of mind over matter' [If you don't mind, it doesn't mater !].
B: Bangalore is my home town and I am extremely glad and proud that I have born and grown up here.
    I hate it when I'm bored to death."
C: Good cloths and Compliments can sustain me for months.
D: I prefer going dutch because I don't want to feel indebt to anyone.
E: That's easier said than done, specially when hubby is around.
F: Whenever I feel blue, I like to listen to music or watch a movie. Family and friends are two of the most important things in my life. I value little else above spending time with them.
G: always wanted to be 'go-getter'.
H: I don't have the guts to go bungee jumping. Hate it when people lie.
I: I believe that Ignorance is no excuse.
J: junk food- i love them.
K: Kind even when I want to be mean
L: love to learn more and more languages.
M: mindful- specially when related to kids.
N: Nick name: Koms
O: optimistic in nature; at times opportunist too.
P: I like to find practical uses for everyday items.
Q: not Quite witty, sarcastic, and a little vain.
R: Rain or shine, one can count me in. I show commitment to word.
S: I spend my leisure time practicing sketching. I consider drawing/painting an area that I am gifted in, and I intend to keep developing that gift.
T: thankful, to my creator.
U: Unlikely to be a CEO, I daydream too much.
V: I am voluminous in personality, if not in physique.
W: Writing is my joy, but i know, iam not that good at it.
X: Xtra weird and proud of it.
Y: Yummy Food, i try to cook.
Z: 'Zindagi jeene ke liye' is my concept of life.

What is in thy name

The only thing that others use more often than me -- my name.

Komala, How I love the very sound of this name! It is pronounced Ko-ma-la and consists of 6 letters and 3 syllables. The popularity of the name Komala has changed over time. The origin of this Hindu name is Indian (Sanskrit) and is commonly used for females, exception listed below.
The meaning of the name Komala is: Pleasing to the senses, Tender, Delicate, soft,  green, [Orange in Manipuri]. Iam true to name, So: 'HANDLE WITH CARE'.
Komala has lots nicknames: Komal, komu,  koms, and so on. But one of my client often mispronounce as 'Kormala'
Some say there's no meaning for KOMALA other than, of course, that it's the name of a Japanese spy.

Some famous personalities by this name are:
Komala valli -- the birth name of J. Jayalalitha---Chief Minister of Tamil Nadu.
Her Royal Highness Princess Komala Saovabha -- was the Princess of Siam[ later Thailand]. She was a daughter of Chulalongkorn, King Rama V of Siam and Chao Chom Manda Wong.
A. P. Komala -- was a South Indian playback singer.
Komalah -- is a Kurdish political party in Iran.
Komala puram--  is a census town in Alappuzha district in Kerala.
Komal Kumar -- is such a Versatile actor in Kannada film Industry.

A Indian vegetarian restaurant chain is quite famous in Singapore, Pure Vegetarian, South Indian Refreshment in Mumbai, too.
Komala cafe. Komala Stores, Komala glasses and Plywood, and  what not !! A TV channel by KOMALA TV too. [www.tvkomala.com/kurdi/index.htm]
But i own none.

Here is the latest news with my name
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-23848714

Myself

Words can't fully describe what I am. Yet I would do my best to draw a faint outline.

Name: You know it.
Born: Yes, I am.
Highest Education: Still learning.
My Hobbies: Pencil Sketching, Fashion Designing [and stitching as well].
Proof:  visit my other post ' my creation'.
Describe self in 3 sentences: Obedient daughter(at times), Loving wife(sometimes demanding too), Tolerant D-i-L, caring and proud mother of 2 brats, adorable friend to many, foe to few. Above all 'Woman' of substance, that should define all.

Most treasured quality: My ability to live for the moment

Favourite books: Wings on fire [APJ Kalam], The saint who sold his Ferrari [Robin Sharma]. The Secret, The Magic.

Greatest Fear: Fear of survival

Place that would love to visit: Vecchio Forno [Italy-- heard a lot about it, from my master].

To be remembered for: I want to be remembered as someone who has a generous spirit, and always with a smile & a warm heart.

The one thing I'd change about myself:
There are so many things that i'd have no idea if i'd ever achieve it. Either physically: growing old, emotionally: being mature [love to be child-like], and intellectually: being mindless.

If I were invisible for a day, that would i love to do:
I will try to accomplish one thing that every one think is “impossible”. Pick my camera and cover all the corrupted people, so that my society is clean. Or, at-the-lest follow my kids [parental instinct !].

I am simple, caring, and loving.
I feel very shy and hesitant talking initially to an outsider or even a relative. I believe in celebration. I celebrate every single movement, to such an extent that i wrote a 10-page write-up describing every day of my pregnancy, I have taken impressions of my daughter's footprint even before she could attempt or begin to walk. I just love surprises; may be so, too quickly disappointed, as my husband just does not know the meaning of surprise. The early morning sunshine on closed eyes (i do it as part of my eye exercise , fresh fruits, pillow fights with kids, dancing, candlelight dinners, sunlight on water, comedy on TV, a good book, puzzle game, cooking a meal for someone special. The fresh air, the wonders of nature, being naughty, singing out loud to a song, getting away for a weekend, listening to the sound of rain while sipping hot coffee, starring at nothing, thinking about nothing........

Climbing into bed with fresh clean sheets; a note to add here, like me, my son too loves it. Every time he visits us, I ensure that the bedspreads are changed and are clean and fresh.
Love to laugh till it hurts [I turn off the TV or switch to another channel, the moment there is a sober episode in the serial]. I love camping, mutual respect, freedom, rain on the window, lazy Sunday mornings spent in bed-–sometime until 10:00 a.m.
Movies---we rarely visit theatre, may be a couple of times in a year.

There are something that I do not love too, Pets ! (or pest ?!) It may sound strange, but is true. I cannot stand a dog licking all over the owner face or a kitten running about the house. Iam too lazy to feed the fish either. Once my daughter asked if we can rear a pet for which I replied, that I can handle just one at a time. And that she was more than enough. 
I hate lies and lairs. Analytical at mind and emotional at heart, I am not religious but I am spiritual kind of person, very calm and sensitive. Beyond just believing, my love is unconditional and I give my family enough space and freedom...
I want my husband to be a not just a good but a great father for my kids, just as I have one.

I know that marriages don't just work as they need to be worked on everyday with a common goal of mutual happiness! I am a die hard romantic, who believes in fairy tales and 'they lived happily ever after' stories.

The best day of my life

The best day of my life

Today, when I awoke, I suddenly realized that this is the best day of my life, ever! There were times when I wondered if I would make it to today; but I did.

Woke up around a half past six, even before the alarm would go. Can't believe that I'm not late again. Peacefully sat in the sofa and lazily browser the daily; and planned the menu for the breakfast and lunch. The refrigerator and stores was just complete of all the necessary ingredients, that would be required for the cooking. No last minute rush, searching for anything; everything was just perfect.

Made some hot coffee for husband, to wake him up. Went out for the morning's walk and some light workout along with hubby. The morning dew, the sun, the clouds, the trees, the flowers, the birds everything around was beautiful to marvel at. Today none of these miraculous creations escaped my notice. Back home, kids were up and at the dinning table fully dressed to school. Wondered how blessed I was to have such independent one's. I kissed them Bye and send them to school, to resume the cooking lunch for in-laws.

Had a soothing hot bath to start my pulse and then I grabbed my jeans and look into the mirror to find myself, younger and beautiful, and lighter than yesterday.

Then I hit the door, took off to Office. I decided go out of my way to perform an unexpected act of kindness for someone I don't even know. Incidentally it so happened that a old lady was struggling to cross the road. I stopped by, asked her if I could help her in any way. She showed me an address scribbled on a piece of paper. I took time to read it. I offered to drop her to the place for which she agreed instantly. About 15 min drive and we were at the place. She thanked me profusely and I left from there with a deep sense of satisfaction for I had completed today's 'good-deed' task. Entered office to see smiling faces and greeting friends; finally sat down to work with a hot cup of lemon-tea. Started to download of mails. Greeting from client, sincere compliments, appreciation mail from Boss for the accomplishments, and blaab blaab blaaa...

Hot lunch with appetizers was served at the office cafeteria. Quickly munched the same to have a brief chat with friends [socializing is a woman’s 'birth-right' you see !]. Returned to work till evening. Planning and executing to ensures everything would be just perfect in my projects.

A dozen roses was delivered by florist with a card reading "Happy Birthday". My husband had not forgotten my birthday, unlike last year. Rushed home, a quick shower and picked the outfit for dinner. Primped before mirror---Just the same old same quotes---Candlelight dinner for two. I was on cloud nine when he said how deeply he cared for me and how much i meant to him.

Picked the kids from creche, thanking the baby-sitter for working the extra hours for which she nodded with joy. I knew she was equally happy about spending some extra time with my little angles.

As the day ended and I lay my head down on my pillow, raised my eyes to the heavens and praised God for the magnificent treasures. My best day......


Ttrrrrring went the alarm. It was already half past six and I was still in my bed---dreaming!. I should say Day-dream, as it was already day, yet another day! Rush to the doors to collect the news paper that was thrown at the door step. But the milk was carefully place in the small bag that I had hung at the gate's handle knob. Be a little late and the kittens from the neighbourhood would have had their day relishing on it.

As I took the stairs up, hurried browsed the front page; drop the paper on the table for the others to read it peacefully. Entered Kitchen, to see it every clean and sparkling. It was a delight to start cooking fresh in a clean and tidy place. Opened the refrigerators... Alas, I had again forgotten to pick the fresh veggies. All that was left was some old potatoes and pale beans. The stationary too needed re-filling. I'll have to manage till the week-end until I find enough to fill-up the jars. Made some coffee for hubby. Left it on the bed side table with a wake call. On hearing me, he rolled-off to the other side of the bed. No time to waste there. I rushed to the kids with milk, they too needs some rough handling. Back to kitchen cooking to pack lunch-boxes for all of us. I re-collected the kid's time table. ---No junk, no Jam, no eggs, no this, and no that. I had to pack for the 1^st and 2^nd interval, and no repetition please ! I could hear my hubby up and walk out for his yoga class. I would not be able to join him today either. I had to prepare break fast before he is back, ready on table now. The kids were too young to be independent, I had to help them get dressed and all the while was training and encourage them, teaching to brush and dress and finally brought them to the table. Checked to see if the home-work was complete. “Pom-pom” went the horn of the school van. Finally sent them to school hurriedly, with their mouth stuffed with the last piece of dosa. Same with hubby too.

A quick hot shower and I was ready to office. A look at the mirror. I was growing older. Another layer of fat around the tummy. 1^st signs of aging---a couple of gray hair has started to show up. I'll have to wait till the week-end for the parlour visit, and this time 'hair-coloring' would be added item in the menu. Wondered what more to cope-up with.

On the way to office fortunately nothing incidental took-place. Within office greeting and returning a few smiles on the way to my desk, I picked a hot cup and settled down to download mails. One after the other, one or the other issue, complains, concerns, and so on. Was this happening only to me and my projects. No... definitely not. And what if, it is happening to others as well. It is not going to make my day any easier. After-all it is because these 'issues, complains, concerns' are existent, that my job is existing. What if there were no issues, what would others think about me, my performance. I recollected a quote that I read some where 'others thinking would not make my nights any shorter'. Whoos.. what was I doing!!. Pushing all these non-sense argument aside, I continue and in no time was again deep-drown into the task. Until a colleague pinged to say it was time for lunch. I took out the box that I prepared morning. The food was just warm in the thermo-ware. Lazily chewed the same all the while chatting with colleagues, exchanging cooking tips and sharing food too. By the time gathered enough momentum to return to work. Again the same old follow-up mails, reminders, 'to-do' lists, and couple of meetings and it was now time to call it a day.

Living in metro had its own pros and cons. The traffic was terrific. I cursed the PM to CM, the home minister and the transportation minister for the poor roads and the delaying traffic. I was late as usual. Cut another sorry to the baby-sitter who passed a sarcastic grin, generously tipped her too for the courtesy showed for the extra hours.

Back home, checked to see what was left-over of the lunch and prepared some chapattis; just to ensure that some whole grain servings is added to the menu to make it 'complete'.

As the day ended, some bed-time stories was recited to kids to put them to sleep before sharing the day's adventures. Of-course they had a long story to narrate as well. I put them to sleep and quickly fell asleep before reminding myself not to forget anything for the next day. I was yet another women trying to juggle careers, children and elderly relatives, and of course loving hubby.

May be this is in fact my best day too. Not sure again what is in store for tomorrow. Another best day !!

Childhood Memories

Home sweet home

We returned home from native after cheerfully spending the year's summer vacations, along with other cousins at grandma’s home. After long hours of travel, we were left with no energy to take any quick step to enter our home. With sleepy eyes, mother was digging her bag to find the gate keys---but, in vain. Alas! The keys were misplaced, may be in one of those small bags back with grandma. Those were the days when telephones were existing but in few homes. Mobiles devices were alien. It was nearly impractical to return to fetch the keys. Mother re-collected that a second set of keys were available. But in the cabinet draws of the living room of the sweet home that we were now stand out-of. To climb up the 6-ft-high gates of the compound wall was quite easy for a 8-year-old like me. But how could mother and sister cross over.

An idea striked to my little brain. I convinced the family and put on the right foot to climb the main-gate. Did not jump to the other-side, instead walked all along to the compound wall taking careful steps to reach the rear of the building which hosted the old-fashion high sealing tiled roof of the kitchen. Siting on the roof-top, I did some calculations and removed around four inter-locked roof tiles. The space was enough to let me in. But, my calculations went wrong, instead of the lintel, I landed near the wash-space deep down. Still, thanked my stars, for a-foot to the left, would have landed me on the pounding stone [the traditional mortar buried in the ground with the heavy club-shaped pestle leaning at one corner].

Moving in the dark, with stretched hands, I continued until could reach the switch on the outer wall of the kitchen. The light brighten the pathway along the corridor. Thus was able to reach the living room but with little difficulty. I succeeded to take a grasp of the keys after running my fingers in the drawer and confidently walked across the room to open the 'door-lock' of the 'Home-[indeed]-Sweet-Home' from inside. A sense of pride filled me. On stepping out, I could see the darkness of the night had swallowed the view of the main gate. I did not attempt to light the lawn, as i knew, the control switch was out-of-my control. I screamed “got the keys!” and rushed toward the sound that came as reply. I tripled over the lawn edging. It was as corner stone, that was holding the soil and water from entering the walk-way. At that time, it did not hurt much, or may be, my enthusiasm did not let me to bother much about it. I let open the gate and allowed the rest of the family in.

The adventure though lasted for no more than an hour, the memories are trailing all along, to this day. Especially each time I look at the mirror. As the scar very close to the right eye would have left me blinded by one eye during my little adventure.