Little Wish

Shanu is like most of the kids of her age: loves school day, but not the morning wake-up calls; loves to eat, but not the regular meals; loves to get dressed, but not in school uniform. We as parents [specially her father] have a hard time rustling her out of bed, and pushing to school. She is a remarkable daydreamer whose drawings have become an extension of her flights of fantasy. She often fantasized in her drawings of trees, houses, landscape, so on. Sometimes her daydreams extends to the classroom. Her teachers contacted us more than once about her need to pay better attention in classes.
Typical of hers generation, Shanu loves collecting toys as a kid. Her favourites are Barbie with friends and the Kitchen set--- all variations from earthen, to plastic, stainless steel and ceramic.
Kitchen set ! Ah---it keeps her engaged for hours. She is unto herself cooking and serving imaginary guests.
Sometimes I feel too sorry for her. May be I should spend some more time with her. Quantity of the time is  equally important as quality of time.
In the morning's hassle, I wake her up, help her finish the daily chore, dress her up, stuff her mouth; at time her hands too and push her though the door and out of home. Ah ! At last!! Come night and the same sequence repeats, but in reverse order. Change dress, feed her and push to bed. Her request for bed-time stories would at times be fulfilled, but lazily I would make up some hucus-pocus stories. Half as entertaining as it should be.

On the other hand, my son Pounn, I have to mention, is the replica of my husband, to such an extend that even the sleeping gesture is like him. May be when he is old enough to read this, could be surprised at. This is about his first fantasy. Or should I call it his first love .
Anshu, a tall fair girl in the neighbourhood. Around six months elder to Shanu, would sometime drop by to play. It is today [24th July 2013] that this gentleman of mine told 'I Love You' to her. Not sure what he meant, I was wondering what would have made this little one to spell the 3 magical words to this cute neighbour elder to him by 3 more years. The two girls laughed him to embarrassment. I did not know how it react. Just laugh it out; or, talk to him seriously. His father though warned him. He stood at the corner like a wet cat.

Thus, the two are in their own little world. Unaware or least bothered about the pains that we as grown-ups face. Thank God, for their innocence.  And touch-wood, they remain so as long as possible.

Once we were at Marudrai Meenashiamman temple. While offering prayers, to silence the two loud speakers, I asked them to pray and ask for any favours, for God would grant them immediately, as they were the best children. While I was wanting to buy/build our own home, I suggested the idea to the young man. Little did I know that his tiny mind had its own wish-list. 'I wish, my mom come and stay with me.' he murmured. I was moved. Moved looking at the love he had for me and how much he missed me. Ashamed at the same time helpless that I was a silent observant, and could do nothing more. I could not change this situation, at-lest for now. Being a working parent had its own returns.

My next prayer was a modified version: A Home where my entire family would peacefully reside.
Hope my and my little one's wish come true very soon.

Poor Pavan

Hi Everyone,
This is my first attempt at poetry, dedicated to my dear son:

Let us see if Pavan can
  be a little gentleman.
Let us see if he is able
  to sit still for once at table.

Thus Papa bade Pavan behave,
  and Mamma looked very grave.
But poor Pavan, can't sit still,
  To Shanu's embrace, he wriggles,
  To Tanu's graces, he giggles.

See the naughty, restless child
  Growing still more rude and wild,
And Papa made such a face!
   Pavan is in sad disgrace.

No food for him, declared Mama
   Poor Papa, and poor Pavan
Look quite cross, and wonder how
   we shall have our dinner now.

Never say Good Bye

The farewell trance inducing song Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna (English: Never Say Good Bye), from the Hindi movie Roti Kapda Aur Makaan was sung at the farewell party in the final year of our college. [I know it is the same in most of the farewell trances.]
Although we were moving ahead leaving behind memories of a 3--5 year-old friendship, to reach out our fortunes in the real world, chasing dreams, where in one can proof oneself and stay with them long-term. But, if life has other plans for us then this is the situation. Three years of togetherness, caring and sharing with some of those angle-like friends was to come to an end. Touch-wood, Iam still in-touch with those treasured friends. And that's a different story ! 

But, this is not the case when one decides to quit a job in a search to persuade their dream career. Or, if the company decides to down-size. Departing colleagues-friends is quite a different experience.

It was hardly 2 or 3 month that I had joined my first job as intern soon after my graduation. It is here that I realized how employees were treated when being laid off, even after years of dedicated service. I was just a little more than a fresher, what better could be expected. I was treated like a criminal when being laid off. They waited until the end of the day and told me it was due to the failing economy and I had done nothing wrong, but was given about 10 minutes notice and then stood over and rushed while I was trying to gather my personal belongings. It was as good as a slap on the face. I had hardly entered the corporate world and there was a end to it, all the way too soon. Many of the people were let go based on ‘LIFO' (Last-In : First-Out) as they are considered dispensable, so they may not complete their anniversary in their first job. Even after years, i still remember, it was a day of solar eclipse. I did not bother to take the bus or auto, but instead walked until I reached home heavy hearted. But, promised to myself that i'll never let it happen to me again. On my resume it shows up at short stints as if I were 'job-hopping' but in reality it was not.

Soon I joined forced with another company. Thank God; The silicon city never was short of hungry employers waiting to grasp potential candidates. Here I stayed, for nearly a decade. I grew with the company both personally and professionally. This company saw me grow from 'Miss' to 'Mrs'; from 'care-free adventurous-youth' to 'mature adult'; and in the process I had earned many friends for life. 
And when I decided to quit, a month was the transition time that I got, or was asked to. Any more would have overkill, I put down strongly. Seriously, they requested me to stay a month more, but knew that I couldn’t do much of anything in the last few weeks anyway. All the while, I was wondering how they would say goodbye to an employee who was leaving for another job — outside the company. If a valuable employee wants to quit it’s certainly worthwhile it to put up a fight. So, it started with, “Is there something I can do to change your mind?, blab, blab...” No counter offer could succeed to make a stand, as I had  already put one foot out of the door. But the recognition and offer for more money probably told the true intent in that first conversation. Fortunately, I had seen departures that were handled well. Goodbye's say a lot about us as leaders. I had seen more than a dozens in the 10-year span in this company. So knew the formalities. The exist interview was just a cleshay. With a pad of paper in front of you, asked what you can do better as a leader, how the team could run better, ... and so on. One may not be completely honest with it at first, but if the company stays open and receptive and start taking notes, chances are that one will start sharing some valuable tid-bits.

They let me go graciously. It’s about the person who’s leaving and, even more importantly, those who stay behind. How one says goodbye says a lot to his friends and co-workers. A small party was organised by my team. Someone took up the leadership of collecting money from the rest of team. Eachone made some contribution and bought a decent-size Silver Ganesha idol. It was presented to me in a tray full of fruits, flowers, bangles,... Woow... that was simply touching. Close friends gave individual memorables. Yes, they had actually stoped work at some point to acknowledge my departure. I wanted to take them and the team to lunch or have a get-together near the end of the last day. But was filled with grief by the thought of departure. I profusely thanked them, it was not just paying lip service. I really felt like a prized possession was being let go. Wow, that’s how you say "Goodbye" !

Years later, I was in my new office. It was a Friday, post lunch I could sense some chaos around. One collogue came down looking green and told us he'd been fired, the news spread like forest fire, one after the other, there were many in the row. It was part of general downsizing for the company. The kind where everyone was escorted out of the building by a security guard. Several of us intervened and the firing was rescinded, but for the time-being, only to be continued on the following Friday. The very thought that how employees were treated when being laid off, even after years of dedicated service was very scary nightmare. It was definitely a sad and lonely way to end the time with a company, to walk the gauntlet of cheers and backslaps with a wide grin. Up to that point, I recollect reading somewhere: ‘you are only as good as your last deal,’ but after that day, I knew it was very much true.  I spoke with a friend recently who had just retired from her company after long years of service. She was going to take care of her extended family. Disgusted she said, “Once I announced my retirement they could not wait to get me out fast enough. There’s no leaving there with honour.” It was very awful.

All I expect now is that, when I quit a company, I want them to say Thanks. Let me know that my service has been valued. I shall definitely work to leave one such mark. The reason I have changed positions is to better my career, not to just find another "job". Each step in a new direction has given me exceptional experience that I have been able to leverage at the next position. By the 3rd position, now, I have taken the next step in my career. Having a career focused rationalization has been beneficial and ultimately has taught me that being selfish is not necessarily always a bad thing as long as you are also there to benefit the company you are working for as well. 

A delectable dose

I will pass on a favourite tip I received when I was a new mom, there are many of my additions too. The technology today is a little different but the results will be the same. 

My mother-in-law, has a suit that my husband wore on this 3 or 4th birthday (she is not able to re-collect exactly). A nearly 40-year old Silver Kada anklet used by my hubby (later his brother and sister) were preserved for my kids. This delectable dose of vintage charm is a treasured gift that I shall carry to the next generation.

For your newborn child create a monthly tape. Once a month, put your video camera /mobile device and sit down with your child and roll the video for 1 to 2 minutes. You will never realise who   quickly they grow and change right under your nose.


Take pictures at every stage/milestone. You would love it someday down the lane. In fact, I made a collage of my son's pic to make a banner for his recent birthday party. Our guests, specially  my parents enjoyed the display. Took time to recollect an incident related to that particular 'time'. I had put together pictures of his 1st day in hospital, no soon he was born; the next was, may be a-month-old baby; when turned over, to craw; 1st day in uniform, to school; and so on. 

Voice record his/her rhyme, with emm.. huo... Sounds. One such was the ring tone of my mobile, for long. The baby babble and mispronunciation: first gurgling vocalizations, to the entertaining and sometimes maddening long speeches. My son was a slow starter. But no soon he started, there was no stopping. He seems to be speaking in a language of his own. Now when i play him, we have a good time.


Smear a bit of pad ink on the little one's foot and take an impression, you would love to compare and see how the tiny pawprints latter turn to footprints. Sometimes when iam down and suffering from depression, loneliness, I take a look at the footprints, that I took when my little one was 3 months old. They remind me of the poem: Footprints on the Sand by  Carolyn Joyce Carty.  Similarly each picture carries with it, memories of some or the other incident. Life-changing or not, it is worth it!

Discuss all the new things that happened over the last 30 days. And pen down. We are doing this for our 2 kids. And plan to continue until they are 10. The results are awesome. We prefer to watch and read them time and again. Recently a old relative had been home, and we play one such video, and all loved to watching it. It is much better than any other movie or videos games.  Even kids love them, as they are the main character around whom the film revolves.. Wow Grandpa used to have hair!, Dad looked lean, Mom had long hair, …...Where is this frock now....that dress? Those shoes...

The nursery ID card, report card, test paper, all are preserved along with the class photo. Take a lesson or two from the  Montessori training class (a lot of material can be accessed on-line). They are not just for aspiring  Montessori teacher; young, 1st time parents too, need to know lots about sensorial work. These knowledge come handy in parenting. Learn a bit of  'child-psychology'. Most of the time you 'No' would mean 'Yes' to them. My son says 'tomorrow' when I actually means 'yesterday'.

Those ephemeral joys of childhood and initial years of the parenthood are just amazing. Take at look and recap those fine moments. Live the moment at the same time carry the memories so that you can live with it later too. There’s a mystery to be unraveled each time.

When I found the Profound...

To better-plan and balance the home- and work-life, an office close to home was what I was seeking initially; so that I could spend less on commuting, and more with family. But what I got in return was amazing, and beyond my asking.

Not just close enough to call it 'walk-able', it has all the best things an employee can ask for, put together. The woOw factor is the flexible timing. Like any other corporate office, we are required to stay in office premises for 40 hours a week but, the check-in and -out timings are not rigid, as long as one is able to keep up the deadline. This gave me a lot of flexibility to attend to my kids and their home work, make-up the PT meetings at school promptly, fix the leaking tap, re-fill groceries, visit bank, or any other task that otherwise would have called to apply for half-a-day's leave.

The 200+ that are employed here are young spirit, though remind me that Iam a decade older [may be Iam the only one who is dressed in saree most of the time] still, they make me feel young. The usual de-stressers are the carom, tt, and fussball. The bigscreen of the plasma TV for the cricket lovers, is definitely quotable. We have a few serious cricketers who would make up to challenge the internal teams to the out-doors, during week-ends, of-course. The latest in-line is the IRC ---Impelsys Runner's Club. Meet you at the Bangalore Midnight Marathon in Dec !

Within office space, we are very happy for it is fun to work in such an ambiance. Every Monday, the HR team brings to us something amazing, true and inspiring stories to get rid of the Monday blues and to energize the team for the day and for the week ahead. Mid-week, we get to know more about a couple of colleagues through the culture of 'know your colleagues' whom, we otherwise would have known as just 'Hi-Bye' friends. Come week-ends and the much awaited 'Fun-Friday' with mind-twists like: scrambles, caption content, crazy captions, crossword puzzle, picture puzzle, guess the celebrity, jumble words, and many more to relax. Just that we guys find it challenging to balance with the week-end project deadlines against the tempting prize gifts of the contest.

At times there are other events that make us 'feel-at-home'. Ethic day, birthday celebrations, festival celebrations and so on. Now, looking forward towards Impelsys' first ever Halloween Party. Employee satisfaction survey is conducted so that voices of the employees are heard. The candid input are considered for fixing problems that generally demotivate people.

The best part of my office is that there is no hierarchical seating. This means that the new floor where we recently moved has the management and the rest of the employees sit together in an open layout without any cabins separating the staff from the Boss. There is not even the cubicle separation that would normally be built around an employee. There are just big-long tables with teams seated facing each other across. There is no such thing as formal environment in our office and we are always having some fun event or the other. This is the reason why we see ourself full of life, even when we have to work to exhaust ourself to meet the critical (at times un-realistic) deadlines. All these help to improve relationships and in-turn productivity.

Overall, a great place to work at!

Yes, She is my daughter

I was a smart kid at school and college, and very popular among the teaching staff and class-mates. It was may be because, I took part in all activities in the campus, added to it was my thick and long hair, which gracefully was flowing well below my waist, upto nearly my knee. I still remember my last day in college, all friends longed to take a group photo with me. Thus was my popularity.

Once out of college and started to look for job, I slowly realised that being smart was not enough, one had to have a fair skin too. Newspaper advertisements called for good-looking candidates; one with pleasing personalities, and so on. Until then I was under the impression that personality was internal. But No ! 'pleasing personality' meant --- one with fair skin. I was a failure, in the job market, as a fresher.

Same was the case in the marriage market. People before me comment saying Iam dark and therefore ugly. At times it shattered my egos, bruising my self confidence and I was scarred for life. Everyone told me it would be difficult to find a groom for Iam very dark.

From the day, I began to realise that I am dark born, I tried different oils, lotions, creams to change my skin colour. But, it would not. It was in my genes. I had taken over my dark skinned dad. Instead of my fair skinned mother. [Relate the joke by Jagan in Ayyan: where he says "Amma paal, appa decoction"]. Everyone ridiculed me for being born a dark girl. Thanks to the Indians ideology 'white is beautiful'. 

Not long before, my prayers were heard. A fair skinned handsome guy came forward to marry me. Of-course our's was an arranged marriage, and fortunately for me, none from his family saw me as dark skinned. In fact, they credited me for being brave to overcome such racist approach. I no longer spoke of the black skin paranoia. But the devil re-appeared in a different form.

I gave birth to a baby girl. Was worried that I would have to undergo all the trouble my mom had and I may have to do all the things that she did to change my skin colour. The little angle saved me from all such trouble. Same as me, she took over her father. She is born Indian white.

It was not long before that I realised, when I took her out for a stroll, people thought I was her 'Ayya' [baby-sitter], I could read it on their face. Such was the difference between us. She in no way resembled me. I can re-collect the dialogue that happened between me and a known lady on an occasion unknown. It was as:

Acquaintance: Who is this beautiful angle? [coddling my baby in pram]

Me: My daughter [Proudly]
Acquaintance: Unbelievable ! [shockingly] Paatha apadi theriyalae. [trans. Doesn’t look like that.]
Me: emm...Yes, she is my daughter.[I insisted]
Acquaintance: Uhh .. I mean..., I meant … since.. She is not like you. You see ! [remorsefully]

The damage was already done. But, was she not right? Sahana did not resemble me in any way. As days passed, many said this to me. I had a solution to this.

Watch this one:

If not by looks, at-lest by cloths. Now I can tell: 'like mother : like daughter'

My Creations

My Creations

I love to design and stitch fashionable outfits.

The hobby started during my school days, when my younger sister was in her nursery.

The first dress that I stitched was for her--- a sleeveless salwar kameez. The sleeveless top was light pink flowery pattern with plain peach colour bottom. It looked great. And motivated me to move further in pursing this hobby.

Next was freel frock. Black for the base and creamy while for the flare. It boosted my enthusiasm. Next came many more like one. Each of which fitted my baby model very well. She was my experimental super-model, who made no fuss of any outfit-failure.

As I stated to attend college, I stitched my own Salwar suites. Everything that I saw, inspired and fascinated me. I even stitched curtains, sofa covers, cushions, and what not!

Once married, time did not permit to explore more, so I had to discontinue my hobby. But one of the wedding gift kept reminding me to re-venture. It was a sewing machine from my sister. On being a parent. ... things changes and was again pushed to stitching, from nappies to baby blanket, bed, mini pillow and so on.

This time, it was my daughter's turn to be my model. Below are few pictures of my creations

 Me and my daughter, in the rama-green hacuba pattern kurti

Sahana in a Keralan-styled long skirt, which i stitched from my Husband's shaylia.

Shanu in shades of peacock blue/green.Shanu in blue full skirt with green blouse, with green piping and copper-colour work attached

Full flair white with black cheetah print skirt; with a baby pink top and freel to match it. I stitched this for a get-to-gather, at my sis-in-law, this year. 

Peach colour with black print went well with black top and piping for the frock.

To attend Tanu's cradle ceremony, i chose to stitched a black with white polka dots, laced with red satin ribbon and red brooch, that i attached with a safety pin.

A bit of jenes with pink piping for the top went well with the bold multi-colour pattern of the long gown. All accessories are bold multi-coloured: her hair band, bangles and neck piece.

For the engagement ceremony of a cousin, I chose to stitch this lavender colour satin party gown, with side lock, that went well for the evening party.

The left-over's were put to maximum use. The piece of green satin with bronze colour chamki work and the golden colour lace that were the remains of a chocolate box wrapping, was used to make this frock which she wore for a wedding reception.

Inspired by Jyothika, in the song 'Motru ondru...' in the film Kushi, I made this one with a colour change. Replacing the cream colour with peach made it perfect for day and night wear.

The remains after switching a salwar suit from the dress material, was creatively used to stitch this two layer freel frock. All that was spent was the blue satin lace for piping/finishing and zip to fasten.

Many more to follow. Waiting to update with more pic.