Whom to trust now

Like in Frost's poem, the road road less travelled, i was now standing at the brim of my life, wondering which path to take. Sometimes it is so confusing as to what to do next when you do not know where the roads lead to. My mother advice follow the step of those who has seen enough. 

'Look before you leap' she said.  But remember 'He who hesitates is lost'. 

Knowledge is power, at the same time Ignorance is bliss.

Actions speak louder than words. but The pen is mightier than the sword. 

Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Also,  Better safe than sorry. 

What will be, will be. but, Life is what you make it.

Whoow, one can no longer follow the age-old- adage either. They are so contradicting. I found some more interesting one too. Here they go !!

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. 

     Don't beat your head against a stone wall.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder. 

      Out of sight, out of mind.

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today. 

      Don't cross the bridge until you come to it.

Two heads are better than one. 

   Paddle your own canoe.

A silent man is a wise one.

     A man without words is a man without thoughts. 

Beware of Greeks bearing gifts. 

      Don't look a gifted horse by the mouth. 

Clothes make the man.

      Don't judge a book by its cover.

Haste makes waste. 

    Time waits for no man.

You're never too old to learn. 

      You can't teach an old dog new tricks.

Do unto others as you would have others do unto you. 

      Nice guys finish last.

A word to the wise is sufficient. 

     Talk is cheap.

Hitch your wagon to a star. 

    Don't bite off more that you can chew.

The squeaking wheel gets the grease. 

       Silence is golden.

Birds of a feather flock together.

       Opposites attract.

Winners never quit.

       Quit while you're ahead.

Better to remain silent and be thouth a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.

      The squeeky wheel gets the grease.

Actions speak louder than words.

      The pen is mightier than the sword.

Many hands make light work.

       Too many cooks spoil the broth.

The bigger, the better.

        The best things come in small packages.

What will be, will be.

      Life is what you make it. 

Cross your bridges when you come to them.

     Forewarned is forearmed. 

What's good for the goose is good for the gander.

        One man's meat is another man's poison.

With age comes wisdom.

      Out of the mouths of babes come all wise sayings.

The more, the merrier.

      Two's company; three's a crowd. 

Seek and ye shall find.

      Curiosity killed the cat.

Slow and steady wins the race.

      Time waits for no man.

The best things in life are free.

      There's no such thing as a free lunch.

A penny saved is a penny earned.

       Penny wise, pound foolish.

A rolling stone gathers no moss.

     Stop and smell the roses.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

      Fools rush in where angels fear to tread.

With age comes wisdom.

     Out of the mouth of babes come all wise sayings.

Money talks.  

    Talk is cheap.  

The only thing constant is change.

      The more things change, the more they stay the same.  

Two heads are better than one. 

      If you want something done right, do it yourself.  

Great minds think alike.      

     Fools seldom differ. 

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

        Out of sight, out of mind. 

Whatever, you have stay your course and take support of the adages as apt.

Good luck

Oh My, ... New JOB Statement

"Job security" was the key to lively hood. And one of the criteria to mark a gentleman as an eligible bachelor. That was the scenario of the Baby Boomer's. The generation born between 40s and 60s. There were parents of prospective bride looking for grooms settled in 'Government' jobs. My father [born 1950] was in a couple of vague job before he got into one of the 'Public sectors'. This was his idea of 'settled' in life statement. Thus was eligible to ask for his cousin's hand in marriage. i.e., my mother. And he served for this one organisation for 35 years loyally, until he retired at the age of 56. Whooh !! what an achievement. On the flip side: Same old routine. Same old faces to see every day, same boss, same colleagues, same circle of friends and the same old thinking !!.

I belong to the generation 'X' [Generation X refers to adults born between 1961 and 1981]. The generation that no longer looked at one job. In fact, job-hopping had become a fashion of life. We saw that our parents' security blanket vanish overnight, when that blanket was just the semi-promise of long-term employment with one employer. My generation was characterized with risk-taking enthusiasm. I  jumped twice in a span of 14 years. The more number of job an employee quit, the more his or her experience. This of-course gave one exposure to various work cultures and proved one's adaptability. But, I have my own doubts if there would be any gain in knowledge work-wise. I feel that by the time one is introduced to the job, gets adjusted to the new culture, starts to learn regarding the client requirement/job requirement and pick up the actual task or active production and starts to perform and be recognised, it would be time to quit the job [habit-bound]. There are also chances that would camouflage the failures in the process. Still, to say that anyone from the X generation clinging to the idea that he or she will retire from his or her first employer needs to wake up and smell the talent-market coffee. That world is gone. The deadline is no longer the stable full-time jobs.

Now I see the new Millennials or the Generation Y. They are the one that are not just satisfied with one job at a time. They secure themselves with an alternate through-out. An alternate job not only is a source of additional income but also shields one by the fluctuating economic market trends. Many predict that due to their great expectations, the millennial switch jobs more frequently, holding many more jobs. The accelerated societal changes by the use of social media, smartphones, mobile computing, and other new technologies is also to be credited for. Youth today aren't waiting for the hands of fate to fall on its shoulders. They are go getters. Hurray.

Today's younger generation is a still, small flame that would definitely out-beat their preceedors. I am sure that the next generation would be required to put a hundred times the brainpower and maturity that every hour of our service required. Just one thing that bothers is the youth's perception that adults are hopelessly "out of touch" with new ideas, exist and shall continue to exist, whichever generation you might belong. Oldies gear-up fast to catch-up faster! Or would be left far behind.

Karthigai Deepam @ Tiruvannamalai

Hara Hara Sivane Arunachalane, Siva Om namah shivaya

There was joy and excitement in the air. This was going to be our first trip to Tiruvannamalai and our very first Girivalam. We wanted to arrive in Tiruvannamalai before 12:00 pm as we were told that the vehicular movement from outstation would be stopped after that. We drove in silence till in the distance I saw the Mountain, my dear Lord Arunachala, rising high above the ground and looking so majestic; energy surged through me like I had never experienced before. The land welcomed us with open arms. Everything seemed so familiar. It was unbelievable. As planned we arrived a day prior to Karthigai Deepam which is actually a 10 day feast in the town.

We managed to get some rest before we went for darshan at 3:00 pm and then the Girivalam was to started from 8.30 p.m. And could be completed anytime before 8:55 the next day. But by the time we finished with Darshan returned it was 9 p.m. As it was raining the whole day, I felt the clouds would blanket the moon and we will not be able to walk under its radiance. So, we had dinner and went to sleep, such that we could start Girivalam early the next day.

It was 5 in the morning. The drizzle ceased, the clouds cleared. We were half a dozen-- me, my husband, and a few of his cousins. We started bare foot towards the RajaGopuram, lit a camphor and signalled the beginning of the girivalam. We entered the main road and immediately got swept up in the moving crowd! Barefoot... walking on the road in front of the Ramana Ashram of the holy saint of Arunachala, Sri Ramana Maharshi. The road was basically closed to all vehicles but for government vehicles post staff from in and around the small town nearby. And of-cource the ambulance. With the Majestic Giri on the right and thoughts on Lord Arunachaleshwar we began. Initially, there was so much excitement, The newly asphalted roads were washed clean by the last night's rain. I could hardly contain myself. A couple of kilometers down, the sound of chants vibrated, we passed by saffron clad devotees singing praises of Lord Arunachaleswar, vendors shouting to get our attention, restaurants selling hot food, coffee shops, there was fruits, dates and fresh juice, the crowd swelled, it was a sea of humanity walking gracefully many with thoughts of Lord Arunachaleshwar. It was amazing that devotees from various walks of life were cherishing each moment and every step on this holy land.

A huge singboard showed the 12 zodic sign with the respective lingam of worship. We decided to pay visit to each lingam starting from Indra Lingam, Agni Lingam, Yama Lingam, Niruthi Lingam, Varuna Lingam, Vayu Lingam, Kubera Lingam and Esanya Lingam. There were many little shrines on the way. Chanting the name of Lord Shiva was sufficient. Large queues formed to get darshan of the lingams. The roads were so full that you could hardly see the road. The air was full of celebration. Everyone was walking, walking in the same direction... a wave of energy. At times were deviated and talking to each other on past experice but them were very soon put back on track chanting the Lord's name. The crowd was intense and ecstatic. All burning camphor and chanting the lords name. High energy filled the air.

We reached the Raja Gopuram at 11:45 a.m. Lit another camphor to mark the end of the Circumambulation.

This Girivalm happened on every full moon day of the month. For us it was a special one as we fast and continued to celebrate the Karthigai Deepam too. Krittika Deepam occurs annually in the lunar month of Kartika, which occurs in November/December, on the last day of the 10-day festival called Brahmotsavam.

Preparations for this day begins one month in advance with the local government and temple authorities. Earlier people from far off place would tend for this particular even for about 10 days. Early on a previous morning, puja was performed on the Deepam Cauldron pot, with Rukku, the Temple elephant and a cow from the Temple goshala, in attendance. Once the puja was completed, the Cauldron was carried out of the Temple to the hill top. It was 4:30 am on the 17th November, 2013, and the main sanctum sanctorum of the massive Tiruvannamalai Siva temple in Tamil Nadu was packed with souls who have been waiting all night for this moment.

The chief priest finished a simple ritual called bharani deepam and now ceremoniously waves a huge camphor flame in the direction of nearby Arunachala mountain. Finally, he touches the flame he is holding to the wicks of five huge, earthen, ghee-filled pots, representing the sacred elements earth, air, fire, water and ether. As these five flames loom up with red-yellow light, the famous, one-day, South Indian festival of Krittika Dipam officially begins. A single flame is then taken from the pots and kept burning in the Temple throughout the day as a symbol of the merging of manifestation back into God, the one source of all. This single flame is referred to as the Bharani Deepam. We watched the entire episode live on the TV channel, as it would be a herculean task to visit temple on this day.

Town's people and pilgrims from far afield, are climbing Arunachala some in order to secure a good viewing point for the evening's lighting of the 2013 Deepam cauldron, others so that they can personally deliver their ghee offerings to the top of Arunachala and some to just touch the cauldron that will hold the flame that will be lit that evening. From the town, the stream of people climbing up the slopes of Arunachala look like a line of tiny ants. There are many routes to climb the hill top. Those who climbed the Hill, from the Temple at the Virupaksha side know only too well of the rough, uneven path. Progress is slow, but progress is certain. Devotees carry containers of ghee and large pots of thick, braided cloth wicks to the top of Arunachala mountain.

We watched all this from the terrace of the house. While the ladies of the family were busy preparing for the grand feast late in the evening.

All across south India, millions of bonfires are lit on hills and in temples on Krittika Deepam. But nowhere is this festival celebrated like it is at Tiruvannamalai. Here it is unique. By 5:00 in the evening, the area surrounding the Temple flagpole, as well as the adjoining terrace, is packed. People are grabbing seats to observe the dramatic arrival of five exquisitely decorated palanquins, carrying the Hindu Gods Vinayaka, Subramanya, Siva, Amba and Chandikeshwara. The devotees are constantly moving and adjusting their positions to get a better view and to make way for still more people pouring in. At approximately 6:00 in the evening, a sacred fire is lit on top of the 2,668 foot Arunachala mountain to symbolize the merging of all manifest existence back into the one source of all things. It is said that those who witness this sacred ceremony personally receive the blessings of Siva and Parvati. All of the traditional temple rituals that are performed during Brahmotsavam create a spiritual fervency that culminate with great power on Krittika Deepam as a grand congregation of devotees, holy men, officials, police personnel and media squeeze together, shoulder to shoulder, to witness the festival's magnificent consummation.

Finally, the appointed moment arrives. Against the backdrop of a sunset sky, crowned with the rising star of Kartika, thundering firecrackers, ringing Temple bells and a frenzy of rhythmic chanting merge to create a cacophony of chaotic splendor. Camphor is lit in a cauldron by the Temple flag pole, signaling priests on top of the mountain to light their flame.

The timing is perfectly synchronized. People at the terence of their house too lit camphor in a cauldron and children start with firework. When that flame is seen by the thousands of devotees below, the entire countryside explodes with flashing luminescence. Bonfires, lamps, neon lights and fireworks light the night like day as a surging, thronging, emotionally charged mass of devotees chant, "Arunachala Siva," "Annamalai” and "Annamalai Harohara”. The very sight of the Krittika Deepam is magical. It brings an inexplicable joy. We were ecstatic, mesmerized by the light.

As the day waned into dusk and night begins to darken the sky, we could still see pilgrims moving around. I stood motionless at the base of Arunachala mountain, with anticipation  for the next Deepam too, to worship God Siva as an infinite pillar of light. Long-time pilgrims assert that, even years later, the very thought of an otherworldly moment like this recreates it, just as if it is happening fresh and new.

The moon was shining with its full glory. I felt so much gratitude for Annamalaiyar

Little Wish

Shanu is like most of the kids of her age: loves school day, but not the morning wake-up calls; loves to eat, but not the regular meals; loves to get dressed, but not in school uniform. We as parents [specially her father] have a hard time rustling her out of bed, and pushing to school. She is a remarkable daydreamer whose drawings have become an extension of her flights of fantasy. She often fantasized in her drawings of trees, houses, landscape, so on. Sometimes her daydreams extends to the classroom. Her teachers contacted us more than once about her need to pay better attention in classes.
Typical of hers generation, Shanu loves collecting toys as a kid. Her favourites are Barbie with friends and the Kitchen set--- all variations from earthen, to plastic, stainless steel and ceramic.
Kitchen set ! Ah---it keeps her engaged for hours. She is unto herself cooking and serving imaginary guests.
Sometimes I feel too sorry for her. May be I should spend some more time with her. Quantity of the time is  equally important as quality of time.
In the morning's hassle, I wake her up, help her finish the daily chore, dress her up, stuff her mouth; at time her hands too and push her though the door and out of home. Ah ! At last!! Come night and the same sequence repeats, but in reverse order. Change dress, feed her and push to bed. Her request for bed-time stories would at times be fulfilled, but lazily I would make up some hucus-pocus stories. Half as entertaining as it should be.

On the other hand, my son Pounn, I have to mention, is the replica of my husband, to such an extend that even the sleeping gesture is like him. May be when he is old enough to read this, could be surprised at. This is about his first fantasy. Or should I call it his first love .
Anshu, a tall fair girl in the neighbourhood. Around six months elder to Shanu, would sometime drop by to play. It is today [24th July 2013] that this gentleman of mine told 'I Love You' to her. Not sure what he meant, I was wondering what would have made this little one to spell the 3 magical words to this cute neighbour elder to him by 3 more years. The two girls laughed him to embarrassment. I did not know how it react. Just laugh it out; or, talk to him seriously. His father though warned him. He stood at the corner like a wet cat.

Thus, the two are in their own little world. Unaware or least bothered about the pains that we as grown-ups face. Thank God, for their innocence.  And touch-wood, they remain so as long as possible.

Once we were at Marudrai Meenashiamman temple. While offering prayers, to silence the two loud speakers, I asked them to pray and ask for any favours, for God would grant them immediately, as they were the best children. While I was wanting to buy/build our own home, I suggested the idea to the young man. Little did I know that his tiny mind had its own wish-list. 'I wish, my mom come and stay with me.' he murmured. I was moved. Moved looking at the love he had for me and how much he missed me. Ashamed at the same time helpless that I was a silent observant, and could do nothing more. I could not change this situation, at-lest for now. Being a working parent had its own returns.

My next prayer was a modified version: A Home where my entire family would peacefully reside.
Hope my and my little one's wish come true very soon.

Poor Pavan

Hi Everyone,
This is my first attempt at poetry, dedicated to my dear son:

Let us see if Pavan can
  be a little gentleman.
Let us see if he is able
  to sit still for once at table.

Thus Papa bade Pavan behave,
  and Mamma looked very grave.
But poor Pavan, can't sit still,
  To Shanu's embrace, he wriggles,
  To Tanu's graces, he giggles.

See the naughty, restless child
  Growing still more rude and wild,
And Papa made such a face!
   Pavan is in sad disgrace.

No food for him, declared Mama
   Poor Papa, and poor Pavan
Look quite cross, and wonder how
   we shall have our dinner now.

Never say Good Bye

The farewell trance inducing song Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna (English: Never Say Good Bye), from the Hindi movie Roti Kapda Aur Makaan was sung at the farewell party in the final year of our college. [I know it is the same in most of the farewell trances.]
Although we were moving ahead leaving behind memories of a 3--5 year-old friendship, to reach out our fortunes in the real world, chasing dreams, where in one can proof oneself and stay with them long-term. But, if life has other plans for us then this is the situation. Three years of togetherness, caring and sharing with some of those angle-like friends was to come to an end. Touch-wood, Iam still in-touch with those treasured friends. And that's a different story ! 

But, this is not the case when one decides to quit a job in a search to persuade their dream career. Or, if the company decides to down-size. Departing colleagues-friends is quite a different experience.

It was hardly 2 or 3 month that I had joined my first job as intern soon after my graduation. It is here that I realized how employees were treated when being laid off, even after years of dedicated service. I was just a little more than a fresher, what better could be expected. I was treated like a criminal when being laid off. They waited until the end of the day and told me it was due to the failing economy and I had done nothing wrong, but was given about 10 minutes notice and then stood over and rushed while I was trying to gather my personal belongings. It was as good as a slap on the face. I had hardly entered the corporate world and there was a end to it, all the way too soon. Many of the people were let go based on ‘LIFO' (Last-In : First-Out) as they are considered dispensable, so they may not complete their anniversary in their first job. Even after years, i still remember, it was a day of solar eclipse. I did not bother to take the bus or auto, but instead walked until I reached home heavy hearted. But, promised to myself that i'll never let it happen to me again. On my resume it shows up at short stints as if I were 'job-hopping' but in reality it was not.

Soon I joined forced with another company. Thank God; The silicon city never was short of hungry employers waiting to grasp potential candidates. Here I stayed, for nearly a decade. I grew with the company both personally and professionally. This company saw me grow from 'Miss' to 'Mrs'; from 'care-free adventurous-youth' to 'mature adult'; and in the process I had earned many friends for life. 
And when I decided to quit, a month was the transition time that I got, or was asked to. Any more would have overkill, I put down strongly. Seriously, they requested me to stay a month more, but knew that I couldn’t do much of anything in the last few weeks anyway. All the while, I was wondering how they would say goodbye to an employee who was leaving for another job — outside the company. If a valuable employee wants to quit it’s certainly worthwhile it to put up a fight. So, it started with, “Is there something I can do to change your mind?, blab, blab...” No counter offer could succeed to make a stand, as I had  already put one foot out of the door. But the recognition and offer for more money probably told the true intent in that first conversation. Fortunately, I had seen departures that were handled well. Goodbye's say a lot about us as leaders. I had seen more than a dozens in the 10-year span in this company. So knew the formalities. The exist interview was just a cleshay. With a pad of paper in front of you, asked what you can do better as a leader, how the team could run better, ... and so on. One may not be completely honest with it at first, but if the company stays open and receptive and start taking notes, chances are that one will start sharing some valuable tid-bits.

They let me go graciously. It’s about the person who’s leaving and, even more importantly, those who stay behind. How one says goodbye says a lot to his friends and co-workers. A small party was organised by my team. Someone took up the leadership of collecting money from the rest of team. Eachone made some contribution and bought a decent-size Silver Ganesha idol. It was presented to me in a tray full of fruits, flowers, bangles,... Woow... that was simply touching. Close friends gave individual memorables. Yes, they had actually stoped work at some point to acknowledge my departure. I wanted to take them and the team to lunch or have a get-together near the end of the last day. But was filled with grief by the thought of departure. I profusely thanked them, it was not just paying lip service. I really felt like a prized possession was being let go. Wow, that’s how you say "Goodbye" !

Years later, I was in my new office. It was a Friday, post lunch I could sense some chaos around. One collogue came down looking green and told us he'd been fired, the news spread like forest fire, one after the other, there were many in the row. It was part of general downsizing for the company. The kind where everyone was escorted out of the building by a security guard. Several of us intervened and the firing was rescinded, but for the time-being, only to be continued on the following Friday. The very thought that how employees were treated when being laid off, even after years of dedicated service was very scary nightmare. It was definitely a sad and lonely way to end the time with a company, to walk the gauntlet of cheers and backslaps with a wide grin. Up to that point, I recollect reading somewhere: ‘you are only as good as your last deal,’ but after that day, I knew it was very much true.  I spoke with a friend recently who had just retired from her company after long years of service. She was going to take care of her extended family. Disgusted she said, “Once I announced my retirement they could not wait to get me out fast enough. There’s no leaving there with honour.” It was very awful.

All I expect now is that, when I quit a company, I want them to say Thanks. Let me know that my service has been valued. I shall definitely work to leave one such mark. The reason I have changed positions is to better my career, not to just find another "job". Each step in a new direction has given me exceptional experience that I have been able to leverage at the next position. By the 3rd position, now, I have taken the next step in my career. Having a career focused rationalization has been beneficial and ultimately has taught me that being selfish is not necessarily always a bad thing as long as you are also there to benefit the company you are working for as well. 

A delectable dose

I will pass on a favourite tip I received when I was a new mom, there are many of my additions too. The technology today is a little different but the results will be the same. 

My mother-in-law, has a suit that my husband wore on this 3 or 4th birthday (she is not able to re-collect exactly). A nearly 40-year old Silver Kada anklet used by my hubby (later his brother and sister) were preserved for my kids. This delectable dose of vintage charm is a treasured gift that I shall carry to the next generation.

For your newborn child create a monthly tape. Once a month, put your video camera /mobile device and sit down with your child and roll the video for 1 to 2 minutes. You will never realise who   quickly they grow and change right under your nose.


Take pictures at every stage/milestone. You would love it someday down the lane. In fact, I made a collage of my son's pic to make a banner for his recent birthday party. Our guests, specially  my parents enjoyed the display. Took time to recollect an incident related to that particular 'time'. I had put together pictures of his 1st day in hospital, no soon he was born; the next was, may be a-month-old baby; when turned over, to craw; 1st day in uniform, to school; and so on. 

Voice record his/her rhyme, with emm.. huo... Sounds. One such was the ring tone of my mobile, for long. The baby babble and mispronunciation: first gurgling vocalizations, to the entertaining and sometimes maddening long speeches. My son was a slow starter. But no soon he started, there was no stopping. He seems to be speaking in a language of his own. Now when i play him, we have a good time.


Smear a bit of pad ink on the little one's foot and take an impression, you would love to compare and see how the tiny pawprints latter turn to footprints. Sometimes when iam down and suffering from depression, loneliness, I take a look at the footprints, that I took when my little one was 3 months old. They remind me of the poem: Footprints on the Sand by  Carolyn Joyce Carty.  Similarly each picture carries with it, memories of some or the other incident. Life-changing or not, it is worth it!

Discuss all the new things that happened over the last 30 days. And pen down. We are doing this for our 2 kids. And plan to continue until they are 10. The results are awesome. We prefer to watch and read them time and again. Recently a old relative had been home, and we play one such video, and all loved to watching it. It is much better than any other movie or videos games.  Even kids love them, as they are the main character around whom the film revolves.. Wow Grandpa used to have hair!, Dad looked lean, Mom had long hair, …...Where is this frock now....that dress? Those shoes...

The nursery ID card, report card, test paper, all are preserved along with the class photo. Take a lesson or two from the  Montessori training class (a lot of material can be accessed on-line). They are not just for aspiring  Montessori teacher; young, 1st time parents too, need to know lots about sensorial work. These knowledge come handy in parenting. Learn a bit of  'child-psychology'. Most of the time you 'No' would mean 'Yes' to them. My son says 'tomorrow' when I actually means 'yesterday'.

Those ephemeral joys of childhood and initial years of the parenthood are just amazing. Take at look and recap those fine moments. Live the moment at the same time carry the memories so that you can live with it later too. There’s a mystery to be unraveled each time.