It was tough, but I decided to move on.

For the first time in my 14 years of work life, I thought I would be fired. If you have read my earlier blog on how it feels to quit a company, you would know that Iam not the kind who would hop jobs frequently. I stayed with my 1^st employer for a decade, and the 2^nd one for nearly half of that.

Here is my story:

I have always felt very blessed, having a strong foundation—convent educated. Growing up, I excelled in school, mostly in extracurriculars, if not academically. I was terrible at sports. Honestly terrible, but I still tried. (even now I lose a game against my 5 year old!). I attribute this to always having a good work ethic. It was how I was raised and though to be hard working and loyal. I was convinced that I could achieve anything if I put in the right amount of work. When I graduated, I quit a dozen of jobs before even waiting to take the first paycheck, until I settled for one that I believe best suited me. I had always been independent in decisions. I never let somebody tell me I couldn't do something. If someone told me no, I always saw to that I disprove them. 

Flash forward to present day:

I had been in project management for 10 years and been very successful. I had a manager push me for a similar role with slightly different responsibility. I had never done solely sales and I enjoy a challenge. So I thought, "why not?" It was exciting to be head hunted, it was exciting to be wanted, and it was exciting to try something new.

After a year of working, I felt like it was not the right choice that I accepted the offer. For the first time in my life, I felt completely out of place. From day 1, something was off. It was clear right away that the person they moved was not meant for the role they assigned. I thought I would be going into a 6 month training period and then the number game begins. When I got there I was handed a target list and told to go sell. I was very forthright about my lack of sales training and I'm not sure how wires were crossed. But I gave it my all. I worked as hard as I could every single day. I came to work with a smile on my face, ready to conquer the world. My activities were high. I was 100% committed to the new role. But what I was doing was not of any great value either to me or the company.

For the first time in my professional career, I failed. I failed miserably. I had been really unhappy the past few months. I felt like an outsider and like that I didn't belong to that team. It was clearly not the right fit for me and I realize that soon. I was fighting so hard for something that didn't make sense. Although I was given an option to get back to the previous position, I had such a fear of failing that giving up wasn't an option. And getting back means that I have fail in the current position. I did not want to take the label ‘failed’

I learnt that a nice salary was less attractive than job satisfaction. I learnt that being at a place where you don't belong is suicidal. And I also realized that there are jobs that are not meant for me. What I was doing and what I should be doing were two different things.

I also learnt that a supportive boss is very important to our own success.  One fine day, I called my boss and told it was not working fine with me and I decided to move on. It stung. It hurt. He wasn’t shocked. It was embarrassing. I told him that I had been feeling something was off for a while. I truly felt like I was given up on. He agreed to that it was not that I was performing below standards, but I did not get the satisfaction of working there.

I was not expecting to start a new position too soon. It could also be a sign that this was meant to be. Being employed for 15 years, I could not rest at home taking the tag of ‘Home Maker’, either. But I was lucky to rebound quickly. I know it was the result of continuous efforts. I am thankful. And I am humbled by the whole experience. At late 30s, I do not want to go out and conquer the whole world now. But if it is not the right place, with the right supervisors, it is simply not worth it. And that's okay. I am not perfect. I have flaws—I know that. But I always want to improve and better myself.

I hate being told that I'm not good enough or do not have what it takes to be successful.

May be that is the reason that I decided before anyone else call on me. No one wants to be fired.  I have no regrets. I take responsibility for my wrong decisions. I know this may not be the last time! (still wish it is). The fear of failure is the worst part, and that fear kept pushing me. I believe in myself and put the effort forth to do so. It's a very unique experience that is hard to describe. But ultimately, it's for the self-betterment. So I moved on…

Iam excited to write about my wonderful experience at my new position in my next post.

Pen you soon!!

Hair Styles

Hi Friends,

Tried some hair styles:

• Thank you Ma

I recently saw a fake interview over youtube. The interview was online over web-cam and recorded.

The position for was for a very responsible post; the job description told lots of work, may have to work standing most of the time; involves training, lots of responsibility, may be to such an extent that no leaves would be granted even if pre-notified, sometimes may have to work 24/7, not much personal time, blab... blab... blab... and so on. All the interviewees made faces, though desperate for the job [as it was the time of recession that this interview as taking place], this offer was not the one best opted for. And finally for the most awaited part --- the salary negotiation. The interviewer said '...may be would have to work for nothing'. Yes, I repeat absolutely nothing ! There was a big 'Naape' sigh from his audience. He continued, 'In-fact there were people working at this position'. All were curious as I too was to know how was that super human.

It is your MOTHER came the response. Yes, how true, every one had to agree. No doubt about it, it was the position that a mother takes willingly, nursing the little one day-and-night, changing nappies, feeding, training, teaching, counselling, the list goes end-less.

I am the second child in the family of three daughters. A kind of... . Not older to be assigned any responsibility nor the youngest to always be pampered. Amma didn't really know what she was doing raising a troublesome child like me, so there were a few rough moments when I was kid, moments that still hurt a little even now. But she has made up for those moments a billion trillion times over. She's the best mom in the universe...I may at times have given her a hard time and created problems for her, as I respected working mothers a lot (like my aunties), but having my mother at home has been such an incredible blessing I realised when I myself came to be a working mother.

She's so humble, so hard-working. She gets up when it's still dark out to make sure everything is ready for the day. She puts us ahead of her own wants. She cooks not one (as I do now), but three different meals a day plus how can I forget the home-made hot and healthy snack, which she constantly update to the new and latest item. She cleans and does laundry regularly for a family that doesn't actually recognise her near enough. Sometimes old fashioned though it is, but constantly updating herself to match the thinking of the new generation. Some women might not like that description, it even irks me a little bit; the somewhat servant-like, submissive typical housewife. But mother lives her life by the Gita, and she is always delighted to hear that she is living up to its standards, so I try to let her know that she is whenever possible. I try to tell her how much I do appreciate everything she does, but I should still say it more often. So here, I declare it to the world!

Without any hesitation and without an iota of second thought, she nursed me, in my most critical time of my life. May be I would have died, it was a medical emergency and I made up my mind...was almost prepared to face death, or may be so...do not have worlds how to explain. But that moment I wanted to live and prove that her prayer were heard. Come back to life and thank her for the life she gave me. As i was undergoing 'c'-section to delivery my first child, the operating doctor teasing said: “Moments ago I saw a baby being fed my her mother, out there. Now, that baby herself has a little one”. However old one is, he/she is always a little kid to his/her mother. May be it was from this day that I unconscious starting called her Ma instead of Mummy, as I used to call her earlier. It brought me more closer to her.  I was now able to see though her eye. It had only love, nothing else for me. In return, I try to do the same, though I know I often fail. May be because of the busy lifestyle. Now that's a different story altogether.

Recently she gave me another chance to realise how much she means to me. It was the annual car festival that we usually make it up since the time I remember. This time father did not accompany her. Still we [mother, my family, and  my sister's family] planned to meet at a common place and continue from there on. All went well until the climax: she was lost in the crowd. She did not carry her mobile phone for fear of losing it. The public announcement system was not functioning. The 15—30 min of search was horrible. I just do not want to go though it again. Without waiting for any instructions from anyone, I ran hither-tither screaming until I finally found her. Tears rolled down my cheek. Like a mother who tries to discipline her children, I began shouting at her for going missing. (How stupid of me! She was the one who taught me to walk and keep track). All is well that ends well. Another lesson for the day: Parents as they grow old, become/act more like kids. Now it is our turn to show love and camaraderie towards them.

---Dedicated to all Mothers who truly deserve the salutations of the entire human world today.

Annual Meet: An event to remember

To ensure that the Annual Day Celebration was as grand as never before, the HR team put their full time and enthusiasm to make it on the Big Day. The HR and Facility members, team up with some volunteers, were all prepared to make it a memorable day.

We started the day with a fruit drink, here at our campus and moved to accommodated ourselves in 3 buses waiting to take us on the nearly an hour's journey of 40 Km towards KR Puram.

The Company Outing, on the occasion of our Annual Day on 22nd March, 2014 was held at the Confident Ammon Resort which was an Egyptian themed resort. The mood was set for the same in the previous week's Fun-Friday event, where the HR team brought to us a quiz with the same theme named "Know more about Egypt".

On reaching the venue around 10 am, we were Banded [at wrist] and welcomed with a fruit drink at the venue by the host. Corporate T-shirts to mark the Annual Day were distributed at the venue according to the size requested by the team, who did not waste any time; and quickly changed to it to show the spirit.

Though a bit disappointed with the Smorgasbord Breakfast, things picked up fast as our pretty anchor Natash Rock really rocked the stage with her gift of gap; Shubha with the slide show preparation with which Sameer inspired all of us with his ever green and enthusiastic speech as usual on-time ending with a note of Thanks and farewell bid to Anil, and a quick intro to Shajith.

The much awaited MVP award were announced with the 'Stars': Got to know more about Kapil Sharma and the philanthropist in him. Following which were the Fun awards [or the 'Utterly Serious' awards as you can call them] given to Aditi, Ravi Teja, Jagadesh, Feroz, Padmashree, Ranjeet Mani, Roshan Vinayan, and of course Mr. Sameer Shariff, for his 'Risk'. I wonder who worked out those craziest and weird awards like: The Premjith award, Manmohan Singh award, The one who drives the oldest car, The one who works the longest and what not. It nearly kept us wondering on not just the field of specialization that was recognised but also the awardees.

‘Let’s Break free’ session for the Senior Managers was the best piece ever. Sachin, Shyam, Uday, Jagadesh, Vipin, Anil, Pandit along with Sameer showed us how young they were by heart. I was more than delighted to see the versatile genius and multifaceted personality of our senior team. They gave a wonderful performance showed their mettle specially in the Lungi Dance. Sachin went back to his college days and stole the show with his rocking dance. After that particular session, I could never look at him in the same way as before.

I laughed till my stomach ached or was it because it was time for lunch ? Whatever ! the delectable lunch buffet for both veggies and non-vegetarian was mouth-watering. I got to relish all the wonderful dishes that were served at the event venue.

Post lunch, I explored the little Egypt and had our round of photo session with friends, while a few had a good hand at the golf. The scorching heat of the Sun did not allow for any full match of cricket or volley ball, still some were able to warm up a bit. We slowly moved into the Fun Zone. With the help of the Event Manger we split ourselves into more or less tantamount four Teams: Blue, Green, Red, and Yellow lead by Sameer, Sachin, Shyam Shetty and not sure who lead the other team (sorry ! May be blinded by excitement). It was a great opportunity for each one of us to interact and socialize with all the Impellers and have fun together. Team Games like longest human chain, revamp, cross the bridge, fill the holed pipes, blind hit, and many more to prove the team spirit in us. Although officially the Blue team led by Sameer won; it was 'Team Impelsys' that actually won as said by Rocky-- the event Manager.

Following the energy filled events we were let to enjoy our time with indoor games like carom, tt, tennis, a few plunged in the water like little kids. I wonder if any made use of the gym and spa facilities that were available too. I continued our exploration of the place further along with the Tea/coffee and hot snack at the Pit stop. At the end of the day, completely exhausted, with heavy steps headed back on to our buses which dropped us back at our campus.

Overall it was a experience of Fun and Excitement, which I would like to carry in my hearts and minds for years to come.

Whom to trust now

Like in Frost's poem, the road road less travelled, i was now standing at the brim of my life, wondering which path to take. Sometimes it is so confusing as to what to do next when you do not know where the roads lead to. My mother advice follow the step of those who has seen enough. 

'Look before you leap' she said.  But remember 'He who hesitates is lost'. 

Knowledge is power, at the same time Ignorance is bliss.

Actions speak louder than words. but The pen is mightier than the sword. 

Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Also,  Better safe than sorry. 

What will be, will be. but, Life is what you make it.

Whoow, one can no longer follow the age-old- adage either. They are so contradicting. I found some more interesting one too. Here they go !!

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. 

     Don't beat your head against a stone wall.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder. 

      Out of sight, out of mind.

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today. 

      Don't cross the bridge until you come to it.

Two heads are better than one. 

   Paddle your own canoe.

A silent man is a wise one.

     A man without words is a man without thoughts. 

Beware of Greeks bearing gifts. 

      Don't look a gifted horse by the mouth. 

Clothes make the man.

      Don't judge a book by its cover.

Haste makes waste. 

    Time waits for no man.

You're never too old to learn. 

      You can't teach an old dog new tricks.

Do unto others as you would have others do unto you. 

      Nice guys finish last.

A word to the wise is sufficient. 

     Talk is cheap.

Hitch your wagon to a star. 

    Don't bite off more that you can chew.

The squeaking wheel gets the grease. 

       Silence is golden.

Birds of a feather flock together.

       Opposites attract.

Winners never quit.

       Quit while you're ahead.

Better to remain silent and be thouth a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.

      The squeeky wheel gets the grease.

Actions speak louder than words.

      The pen is mightier than the sword.

Many hands make light work.

       Too many cooks spoil the broth.

The bigger, the better.

        The best things come in small packages.

What will be, will be.

      Life is what you make it. 

Cross your bridges when you come to them.

     Forewarned is forearmed. 

What's good for the goose is good for the gander.

        One man's meat is another man's poison.

With age comes wisdom.

      Out of the mouths of babes come all wise sayings.

The more, the merrier.

      Two's company; three's a crowd. 

Seek and ye shall find.

      Curiosity killed the cat.

Slow and steady wins the race.

      Time waits for no man.

The best things in life are free.

      There's no such thing as a free lunch.

A penny saved is a penny earned.

       Penny wise, pound foolish.

A rolling stone gathers no moss.

     Stop and smell the roses.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

      Fools rush in where angels fear to tread.

With age comes wisdom.

     Out of the mouth of babes come all wise sayings.

Money talks.  

    Talk is cheap.  

The only thing constant is change.

      The more things change, the more they stay the same.  

Two heads are better than one. 

      If you want something done right, do it yourself.  

Great minds think alike.      

     Fools seldom differ. 

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

        Out of sight, out of mind. 

Whatever, you have stay your course and take support of the adages as apt.

Good luck

Oh My, ... New JOB Statement

"Job security" was the key to lively hood. And one of the criteria to mark a gentleman as an eligible bachelor. That was the scenario of the Baby Boomer's. The generation born between 40s and 60s. There were parents of prospective bride looking for grooms settled in 'Government' jobs. My father [born 1950] was in a couple of vague job before he got into one of the 'Public sectors'. This was his idea of 'settled' in life statement. Thus was eligible to ask for his cousin's hand in marriage. i.e., my mother. And he served for this one organisation for 35 years loyally, until he retired at the age of 56. Whooh !! what an achievement. On the flip side: Same old routine. Same old faces to see every day, same boss, same colleagues, same circle of friends and the same old thinking !!.

I belong to the generation 'X' [Generation X refers to adults born between 1961 and 1981]. The generation that no longer looked at one job. In fact, job-hopping had become a fashion of life. We saw that our parents' security blanket vanish overnight, when that blanket was just the semi-promise of long-term employment with one employer. My generation was characterized with risk-taking enthusiasm. I  jumped twice in a span of 14 years. The more number of job an employee quit, the more his or her experience. This of-course gave one exposure to various work cultures and proved one's adaptability. But, I have my own doubts if there would be any gain in knowledge work-wise. I feel that by the time one is introduced to the job, gets adjusted to the new culture, starts to learn regarding the client requirement/job requirement and pick up the actual task or active production and starts to perform and be recognised, it would be time to quit the job [habit-bound]. There are also chances that would camouflage the failures in the process. Still, to say that anyone from the X generation clinging to the idea that he or she will retire from his or her first employer needs to wake up and smell the talent-market coffee. That world is gone. The deadline is no longer the stable full-time jobs.

Now I see the new Millennials or the Generation Y. They are the one that are not just satisfied with one job at a time. They secure themselves with an alternate through-out. An alternate job not only is a source of additional income but also shields one by the fluctuating economic market trends. Many predict that due to their great expectations, the millennial switch jobs more frequently, holding many more jobs. The accelerated societal changes by the use of social media, smartphones, mobile computing, and other new technologies is also to be credited for. Youth today aren't waiting for the hands of fate to fall on its shoulders. They are go getters. Hurray.

Today's younger generation is a still, small flame that would definitely out-beat their preceedors. I am sure that the next generation would be required to put a hundred times the brainpower and maturity that every hour of our service required. Just one thing that bothers is the youth's perception that adults are hopelessly "out of touch" with new ideas, exist and shall continue to exist, whichever generation you might belong. Oldies gear-up fast to catch-up faster! Or would be left far behind.

Karthigai Deepam @ Tiruvannamalai

Hara Hara Sivane Arunachalane, Siva Om namah shivaya

There was joy and excitement in the air. This was going to be our first trip to Tiruvannamalai and our very first Girivalam. We wanted to arrive in Tiruvannamalai before 12:00 pm as we were told that the vehicular movement from outstation would be stopped after that. We drove in silence till in the distance I saw the Mountain, my dear Lord Arunachala, rising high above the ground and looking so majestic; energy surged through me like I had never experienced before. The land welcomed us with open arms. Everything seemed so familiar. It was unbelievable. As planned we arrived a day prior to Karthigai Deepam which is actually a 10 day feast in the town.

We managed to get some rest before we went for darshan at 3:00 pm and then the Girivalam was to started from 8.30 p.m. And could be completed anytime before 8:55 the next day. But by the time we finished with Darshan returned it was 9 p.m. As it was raining the whole day, I felt the clouds would blanket the moon and we will not be able to walk under its radiance. So, we had dinner and went to sleep, such that we could start Girivalam early the next day.

It was 5 in the morning. The drizzle ceased, the clouds cleared. We were half a dozen-- me, my husband, and a few of his cousins. We started bare foot towards the RajaGopuram, lit a camphor and signalled the beginning of the girivalam. We entered the main road and immediately got swept up in the moving crowd! Barefoot... walking on the road in front of the Ramana Ashram of the holy saint of Arunachala, Sri Ramana Maharshi. The road was basically closed to all vehicles but for government vehicles post staff from in and around the small town nearby. And of-cource the ambulance. With the Majestic Giri on the right and thoughts on Lord Arunachaleshwar we began. Initially, there was so much excitement, The newly asphalted roads were washed clean by the last night's rain. I could hardly contain myself. A couple of kilometers down, the sound of chants vibrated, we passed by saffron clad devotees singing praises of Lord Arunachaleswar, vendors shouting to get our attention, restaurants selling hot food, coffee shops, there was fruits, dates and fresh juice, the crowd swelled, it was a sea of humanity walking gracefully many with thoughts of Lord Arunachaleshwar. It was amazing that devotees from various walks of life were cherishing each moment and every step on this holy land.

A huge singboard showed the 12 zodic sign with the respective lingam of worship. We decided to pay visit to each lingam starting from Indra Lingam, Agni Lingam, Yama Lingam, Niruthi Lingam, Varuna Lingam, Vayu Lingam, Kubera Lingam and Esanya Lingam. There were many little shrines on the way. Chanting the name of Lord Shiva was sufficient. Large queues formed to get darshan of the lingams. The roads were so full that you could hardly see the road. The air was full of celebration. Everyone was walking, walking in the same direction... a wave of energy. At times were deviated and talking to each other on past experice but them were very soon put back on track chanting the Lord's name. The crowd was intense and ecstatic. All burning camphor and chanting the lords name. High energy filled the air.

We reached the Raja Gopuram at 11:45 a.m. Lit another camphor to mark the end of the Circumambulation.

This Girivalm happened on every full moon day of the month. For us it was a special one as we fast and continued to celebrate the Karthigai Deepam too. Krittika Deepam occurs annually in the lunar month of Kartika, which occurs in November/December, on the last day of the 10-day festival called Brahmotsavam.

Preparations for this day begins one month in advance with the local government and temple authorities. Earlier people from far off place would tend for this particular even for about 10 days. Early on a previous morning, puja was performed on the Deepam Cauldron pot, with Rukku, the Temple elephant and a cow from the Temple goshala, in attendance. Once the puja was completed, the Cauldron was carried out of the Temple to the hill top. It was 4:30 am on the 17th November, 2013, and the main sanctum sanctorum of the massive Tiruvannamalai Siva temple in Tamil Nadu was packed with souls who have been waiting all night for this moment.

The chief priest finished a simple ritual called bharani deepam and now ceremoniously waves a huge camphor flame in the direction of nearby Arunachala mountain. Finally, he touches the flame he is holding to the wicks of five huge, earthen, ghee-filled pots, representing the sacred elements earth, air, fire, water and ether. As these five flames loom up with red-yellow light, the famous, one-day, South Indian festival of Krittika Dipam officially begins. A single flame is then taken from the pots and kept burning in the Temple throughout the day as a symbol of the merging of manifestation back into God, the one source of all. This single flame is referred to as the Bharani Deepam. We watched the entire episode live on the TV channel, as it would be a herculean task to visit temple on this day.

Town's people and pilgrims from far afield, are climbing Arunachala some in order to secure a good viewing point for the evening's lighting of the 2013 Deepam cauldron, others so that they can personally deliver their ghee offerings to the top of Arunachala and some to just touch the cauldron that will hold the flame that will be lit that evening. From the town, the stream of people climbing up the slopes of Arunachala look like a line of tiny ants. There are many routes to climb the hill top. Those who climbed the Hill, from the Temple at the Virupaksha side know only too well of the rough, uneven path. Progress is slow, but progress is certain. Devotees carry containers of ghee and large pots of thick, braided cloth wicks to the top of Arunachala mountain.

We watched all this from the terrace of the house. While the ladies of the family were busy preparing for the grand feast late in the evening.

All across south India, millions of bonfires are lit on hills and in temples on Krittika Deepam. But nowhere is this festival celebrated like it is at Tiruvannamalai. Here it is unique. By 5:00 in the evening, the area surrounding the Temple flagpole, as well as the adjoining terrace, is packed. People are grabbing seats to observe the dramatic arrival of five exquisitely decorated palanquins, carrying the Hindu Gods Vinayaka, Subramanya, Siva, Amba and Chandikeshwara. The devotees are constantly moving and adjusting their positions to get a better view and to make way for still more people pouring in. At approximately 6:00 in the evening, a sacred fire is lit on top of the 2,668 foot Arunachala mountain to symbolize the merging of all manifest existence back into the one source of all things. It is said that those who witness this sacred ceremony personally receive the blessings of Siva and Parvati. All of the traditional temple rituals that are performed during Brahmotsavam create a spiritual fervency that culminate with great power on Krittika Deepam as a grand congregation of devotees, holy men, officials, police personnel and media squeeze together, shoulder to shoulder, to witness the festival's magnificent consummation.

Finally, the appointed moment arrives. Against the backdrop of a sunset sky, crowned with the rising star of Kartika, thundering firecrackers, ringing Temple bells and a frenzy of rhythmic chanting merge to create a cacophony of chaotic splendor. Camphor is lit in a cauldron by the Temple flag pole, signaling priests on top of the mountain to light their flame.

The timing is perfectly synchronized. People at the terence of their house too lit camphor in a cauldron and children start with firework. When that flame is seen by the thousands of devotees below, the entire countryside explodes with flashing luminescence. Bonfires, lamps, neon lights and fireworks light the night like day as a surging, thronging, emotionally charged mass of devotees chant, "Arunachala Siva," "Annamalai” and "Annamalai Harohara”. The very sight of the Krittika Deepam is magical. It brings an inexplicable joy. We were ecstatic, mesmerized by the light.

As the day waned into dusk and night begins to darken the sky, we could still see pilgrims moving around. I stood motionless at the base of Arunachala mountain, with anticipation  for the next Deepam too, to worship God Siva as an infinite pillar of light. Long-time pilgrims assert that, even years later, the very thought of an otherworldly moment like this recreates it, just as if it is happening fresh and new.

The moon was shining with its full glory. I felt so much gratitude for Annamalaiyar